Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for slowing this problem
Nowadays
considerable
amount of Correct article usage
a considerable
children
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
unhealthy
Correct article usage
an unhealthy
life
way. Use synonyms
Education
system and parents have to make attempt to solve Add an article
The education
this
problem.
Childhood is the most important Linking Words
life
period which we must try to enlarge some fruitful habits. There is no doubt that one of them is Use synonyms
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
life style
. Over Correct your spelling
lifestyle
time
, Use synonyms
children
's Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
life style
has been literally changed. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
In particular
, parents because Linking Words
of
they do not have enough Change preposition
apply
time
Use synonyms
they
don't care about it. Correct pronoun usage
apply
Hence
, Linking Words
children
and teenagers waste plenty of Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
unusual
Add an article
an unusual
the unusual
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
such
as playing Linking Words
digital
Add an article
the digital
a digital
game
and Fix the agreement mistake
games
sit
on Wrong verb form
sitting
Add an article
a chair
the chair
chair
. Fix the agreement mistake
chairs
Additionally
, they gain a lot of calories without Linking Words
practicing
actively. Change the spelling
practising
Add an article
The base
Base
Wrong verb form
Based
of
fact, over Change preposition
on
this
decade Linking Words
Use synonyms
children
have been wasting plenty of their own Add the comma(s)
,children
time
on social Use synonyms
network
and they have done less exercise Fix the agreement mistake
networks
Correct your spelling
than
that
what they did over Correct your spelling
than
past
twenty years. Correct article usage
the past
Moreover
, not only Linking Words
children
have been becoming Use synonyms
more fatty
but Replace the words
fattier
also
some Linking Words
disease
related to overweight have expanded among them.
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
Furthermore
, in Linking Words
past
Correct article usage
the past
children
used to eat homemade Use synonyms
food
more than they do now. Use synonyms
Thus
, they gain Linking Words
less
celeries and more fruitful Change the quantifier
fewer
nutrient
which cause Fix the agreement mistake
nutrients
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
was
healthy. Another factor affecting Change the verb form
were
on
Change preposition
apply
children
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life style
is consuming junk Correct your spelling
lifestyle
food
with Use synonyms
tras
- oil. Particularly, junk Correct your spelling
trans
food
is Use synonyms
completely
impact on hearth's performance.
A great deal of importance is educating to use less high calories Correct article usage
a completely
food
for Use synonyms
children
could reduce Use synonyms
consuming
of them especially if it does with teachers. Replace the word
consumption
For example
, teaching about healthy Linking Words
food
like fruit or Use synonyms
whole grain
bread and homemade Add a hyphen
whole-grain
food
could encourage Use synonyms
children
to use them more.
In conclusion, if Use synonyms
these
Correct determiner usage
this
manner
continued Fix the agreement mistake
manners
children
would become more unhealthy. Use synonyms
Hence
, teachers and parents have to help each other to tackle completely Linking Words
this
problem.Linking Words
Submitted by ahad.dana on
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.