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Band 4

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #age #outweigh
In
this
 developed modern life, there are
both
 pros and cons.
Its
Replace the word
It's
It is
show examples
 just that if pros outweigh the cons, people started to accept it
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 example, cars. Despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
knowing all the disadvantages of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars humans still choose
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 because it is more
confortable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 and convenient. The same goes on why more people decided to have
children
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 later age than in the past. There are many reasons for
this
 statement.
Firstly
 and the main reason is the expenses of having a child before and after birth. In
past
Add a comma
,past
show examples
 only man needed to work
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to feed the whole family of 6 but in present despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both
 wife and
hudband
Correct your spelling
husband
 working, it might be enough to feed 2
children
 but won't be able to cover their expenses
such
 as school fees, tuitions fees, lunch fees, pocket money,
cloths
Correct your spelling
clothes
show examples
 , so on.
Thus
, pregnant women can be found working more often than
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 used to. More chances to harm
both
 the mother and the baby. Even if there is no finical problem ,
lets
Replace the word
let's
let us
show examples
 say one is physically prepared
then
 come the
second
 one, mentally prepared to have
children
. Having
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
show examples
children
 is not as easy as
olderly
Correct your spelling
elderly
older
 used to tell.
Both
 the
parents
, especially the mother will have to sleep less since the baby is in the womb to till he/she come to
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 age of 5. During those
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
both
 the
parents
 have to be prepared not just physically but mentally too. Giving birth is
such
 a beautiful thing , at the same
time
 it is as dangerous and as difficult as it can be.
Lastly
 , managing
time
 would be very challenging as
both
 the
parents
 will be working.
for example
 , If the
parents
 leave for work
then
 who gonna watch their kids? Perhaps a nanny but
thats
Correct your spelling
that's
 gonna cost or
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 their grandparents but they are too old and too far.
Therefore
, taking
time
 for a better future is worth it. The only disadvantage would be the age gap between the child and the
parents
 but it can
also
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 taken in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 way as
parents
 can
spent
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 more
time
 with
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 kid and share a stronger bond. So the advantages surely outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by Zinnat Baygam on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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