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Writing Samples
Band 6

Today more and more tourist are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.

#tourist #places #conditions #sahara #desert #antarctic #tourists #visit
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Nowadays, The number of tourists who are choosing to
travel
Use synonyms
 to strange
places
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
Correct your spelling
Sahara
Sarhara
Correct article usage
the Sarhara
show examples
 desert or
Antarctic
Correct article usage
the Antarctic
show examples
 has incredibly increased during the
last
Linking Words
 few years. Going to these kinds of
places
Use synonyms
 has its advantages and its disadvantages. I personally believe that it has more benefits than its drawbacks. On one hand,
People
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 who want to
travel
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 to these special
places
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 are adventurous and kind of brave Because being
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there is not a simple thing to do.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
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 to different
places
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 brings you plenty of new experiences and lots of excitement.
For
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example
Add a comma
,example
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 you can see
variety
Add an article
a variety
the variety
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 of animals that can'
t
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 find anywhere else like polar bears in
Antarctic
Correct article usage
the Antarctic
show examples
 Which you can just see them in
this
Linking Words
 area.
Moreover
Linking Words
, being in
such
Linking Words
 areas which have different climates from other parts of the planet Can
teaches
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teach
show examples
 you how to survive in
hard
Add an article
a hard
show examples
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 and bad weather.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
Sahara
Correct article usage
the Sahara
show examples
 Desert ,which is one of the driest and hottest regions in the world, the average temperatures
is
Change the verb form
are
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 in the summer are over 40 Celsius degree and it is extremely hot and tough to be there.
Linking Words
Also
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,Also
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 you can see how
people
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 live there and meet new
people
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 with different cultures can raise your awareness from the world you are living
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
On the other hand
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, we can'
t
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 deny
its
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the
show examples
 drawbacks and hardness of staying there.
Unfortunately
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,Unfortunately
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 many
people
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travel
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 to these
places
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 alone and without any experience of being in tough conditions.
Hence
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, they will face
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
lots of dangerous situations. As an example, a person who has
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Everest knows how
stay
Add the particle
to stay
show examples
 in the cold weather and he/she is less likely to stuck in a trouble. So, an unskillful person will be in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
serious danger of diseases by the weather conditions.
Additionally
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, there are many
of
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apply
show examples
prelious
Correct your spelling
previous
precious
 animals that we don'
t
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 even know them.
Thus
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,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 with a tour guide is the best choice for tourists who don'
t
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 have enough experience of travelling. To sum up ,being in
places
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 which have hard situations can
brings
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 you lots of joy and pleasure plus other benefits it has.
Also
Linking Words
 before your
travel
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 ,you need to consider its drawbacks too.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe the advantages outweigh
its
Change the word
the
show examples
 disadvantages.
Submitted by Soroosh Bakhtiary on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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