IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Worker often have to retire at the age of 60 or 65. However, some people say that they should be allowed to continue working for as long as they want. What is your opinion about this?

#worker #age #people
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There is no denying the fact that the main need of the reire at the specific old
age
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 is arguable. some people think older people have to choose if they want to continue working or not but there are others who do not agree with that. In
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 ,easy I will explain both views and give my opinion in end. While it is held belief, any person in the
age
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 of 60 or 65 should be retiring, the cause for
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 opinion the people in
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age
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 do not have enough energy to give the same performance as they were at a young
age
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 , and they don have any motivation to keep work in high level. Another reason, is most of
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 society at
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age
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 have many kinds of diseases
such
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 as diabetes and heart . so work is over and makes them tired which they need to more relax in
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 time. on other hand , the other team which think
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 old
age
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 should be allowed to continue , actually want to get benefit from these community experiences to teach the younger
age
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 . which many of companies to that under position adviser where
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 person just attended the important meeting or ask him when the company face some problem , he can advise and provide the solution . in my opinion ,
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 issue depends on the person if they can give a good performance or not , and how we can get the good from him, but at the same time must be careful about the health station and need them to get rest from work life .
Submitted by mahasami1992 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • retirement age
  • pension systems
  • social security
  • life expectancy
  • mental and physical well-being
  • active and engaged
  • mentorship
  • knowledge transfer
  • job opportunities
  • workforce
  • physical strength
  • workplace safety
  • healthcare costs
  • accommodation
  • financial strain
What to do next:
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