Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
For the development of a nation, governments have to improve and expand the businesses that will help to increase the economy of the country and
also
able
to compete with other advanced countries. But, Correct word choice
enable it
this
advancement somewhere affects the local societies and businesses rapidly, besides
this
local culture of every region is ended-up
very soon. I partially agree with Correct your spelling
ended up
this
argument and in this
essay, I will discuss the reasons why development is important and what should we do to build a good relationship between small businesses and local communities.
There is no doubt that government
Correct article usage
the government
construct
the larger buildings in every city of their nation, to earn more taxes from their country folks, by borrowing the shops to them for selling the products or services. Wrong verb form
constructed
This
is possible because of advancements in technology, which helps to expand the small markets into supermarkets, where all are items available that are somewhat not available n
the local markets. Change preposition
in
Moreover
, this
expansion assists the customers to buy
things and Change preposition
in buying
pay
the bill Wrong verb form
paying
with
self-checkout Change preposition
through
instead
of searching for staff. In addition
to this
, the advancements in supermarkets provide job opportunities to many youths in the front section as well as
the back section,like, the warehouse.
On the other hand
, there are some drawbacks to supermarket expansion. Starting with
main and most effective is Verb problem
With
shut
down the business of small owners who earn some money from their daily selling and Fix the infinitive
to shut
fulfil
the Wrong verb form
fulfilling
need
of their family members. Fix the agreement mistake
needs
Furthermore
, the bond between the local cultural
and local business going to Replace the word
culture
weaker
every day, because Add a missing verb
be weaker
then
consumers prefer to buy things from big malls rather than visiting the small shops which are nearby their hometown. For example
, in the past time, everybody likes to buy products from their town market, because of the quality of the item and easy
Correct your spelling
ease
to buy
without wasting time Change preposition
of buying
in
travelling to city malls. But, now consumers are always ready to go out and go shopping in big malls.
In conclusion, I think it is the responsibility of everyone and governments to always keep a good bond within the local societies because the future generation will learn from our present. So, if the present discloses the traditional culture Change preposition
apply
then
the poor person will not feed their family.Submitted by manghuman1994 on
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task response
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument effectively. However, to improve task response, make sure to clearly state your opinion on whether you agree or disagree in the introduction and provide more specific reasons to support your stance throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases to connect your ideas within paragraphs and between sections. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve the overall coherence of the essay.