Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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For the development of a nation, governments have to improve and expand the businesses that will help to increase the economy of the country and

also

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able

Correct word choice

enable it

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to compete with other advanced countries. But,

this

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advancement somewhere affects the local societies and businesses rapidly,

besides

Linking Words

this

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local culture of every region is

ended-up

Correct your spelling

ended up

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very soon. I partially agree with

this

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argument and in

this

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essay, I will discuss the reasons why development is important and what should we do to build a good relationship between small businesses and local communities. There is no doubt that

government

Correct article usage

the government

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construct

Wrong verb form

constructed

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the larger buildings in every city of their nation, to earn more taxes from their country folks, by borrowing the shops to them for selling the products or services.

This

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is possible because of advancements in technology, which helps to expand the small markets into supermarkets, where all are items available that are somewhat not available

Change preposition

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the local markets.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

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expansion assists the customers

to buy

Change preposition

in buying

show examples

things and

pay

Wrong verb form

paying

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the bill

with

Change preposition

through

show examples

self-checkout

instead

Linking Words

of searching for staff.

In addition

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this

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, the advancements in supermarkets provide job opportunities to many youths in the front section

as well as

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the back section,like, the warehouse.

On the other hand

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, there are some drawbacks to supermarket expansion.

Starting with

Verb problem

With

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main and most effective is

shut

Fix the infinitive

to shut

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down the business of small owners who earn some money from their daily selling and

fulfil

Wrong verb form

fulfilling

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the

need

Fix the agreement mistake

needs

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of their family members.

Furthermore

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, the bond between the local

cultural

Replace the word

culture

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and local business going to

weaker

Add a missing verb

be weaker

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every day, because

then

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consumers prefer to buy things from big malls rather than visiting the small shops which are nearby their hometown.

For example

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, in the past time, everybody likes to buy products from their town market, because of the quality of the item and

easy

Correct your spelling

ease

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to buy

Change preposition

of buying

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without wasting time

Change preposition

apply

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travelling to city malls. But, now consumers are always ready to go out and go shopping in big malls. In conclusion, I think it is the responsibility of everyone and governments to always keep a good bond within the local societies because the future generation will learn from our present. So, if the present discloses the traditional culture

then

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the poor person will not feed their family.

manghuman1994Tue Feb 08 2022

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task response

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents both sides of the argument effectively. However, to improve task response, make sure to clearly state your opinion on whether you agree or disagree in the introduction and provide more specific reasons to support your stance throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence and cohesion, consider using more transition words and phrases to connect your ideas within paragraphs and between sections. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

377 words

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Due to development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Over-fishing of the world's oceans threatens many species with extinction and is putting the livelihood of millions of people around the world at risk. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

In modern society, it is no longer necessary to slaughter animals for producing food, or non-food products such as clothes or medicine. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, the crime rate is increasing, especially among teenagers. What are the reasons behind it? How can we resolve this trend? What punishment method should be used, in your opinion?