An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

More
people
have been buying products they need by using the
on line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
.
Although
it is easier to get many items
this
way, I believe the benefits
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
the drawbacks because society saved
thousand
Correct your spelling
thousands
show examples
of dollars each month. Many
people
have lost their
jobs
because local
stores
can not compete
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online. Many convenient
stores
have decided to close their business because It is hard to compete
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
Moreover
, it is
expensier
Correct your spelling
expensive
expense
to rent a place and pay employees with a physical business.
Besides
, local places usually need more than 5
people
who take care of the customers compared
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
online that might need fewer employees.
For instance
, in California, many
Correct your spelling
furniture
furnitures
Change the wording
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
closed because they can not compete with Amazon specials. As result,
hundred
Correct your spelling
hundreds
show examples
of employees lost their
jobs
and some of them live as homeless. I believe that society should support local
stores
to help them to keep in
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business
and avoid losing massive
jobs
. Society
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
adopted buying online because it is cheaper and easier to find what you want. These days,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
do not need to leave their home's comfort to buy groceries,
Correct your spelling
furniture
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
or clothes because they can find anything they want with a single click. On top of
this
, prices are cheaper by buying online.
For instance
, American
people
love to buy
Add an article
the product
a product
show examples
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
online by getting into Amazon
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
this
store has
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
amazing return
policies
Correct the article-noun agreement
policy
show examples
and it offers any product at
lower
Add an article
a lower
show examples
price. I'm of the opinion that buying at Amazon is a safer and cheaper place, so the clients will have more time to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
with their loved ones. As result,
people
do not get
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
anymore when they need to do their grocery list because you can
also
have
this
service
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online.
Although
many
people
have lost their
jobs
, it might be worthy to be aware that thousands of
people
saved a big amount of money by using online
stores
. One must invest the money in places where they offer a great bargain and quality. For these reasons the positive far outnumber the negatives.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • lack of physical interaction
  • try or test products
  • potential for fraud or scams
What to do next:
Look at other essays: