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Band 6.5

Many young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects both on society and young people. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #time #malls #effects #society
Currently, wasting spare
time
 shopping around is prevalent among youngsters who should be busy with studying or creating novel ideas
instead
.
Therefore
, many
people
 contend that
this
 tendency of the youth can impact the life in society and the prosperity of the young generation themselves.
Although
 I guess losing
time
 in markets is not a proper way for young
people
, I think shopping can
also
 aid
people
 to diminish stress and have fun. On the one hand, some
people
, who would argue, consider surfing in the shops as a means of entertainment that may vanish tiredness and stress of work burdens evolving the mood. Actually, since, some youth strive to make their leisure
time
 dynamic and efficient, they prefer shopping in the stores with crowded
people
 thereby getting more pleasure and satisfaction to continue working and efforts effectively.
For example
, if
such
 young
people
 commute to work wearing any new clothes they purchased a day before, their mood will be perfect and they reinforce the confidence on their own.
On the other hand
, criticals disapprove that being busy with more acquisitions in free
time
 can lead young
people
 to poor
time
 management which affects their studying and social balance. What I mean by
this
 is that youngsters may have a shopping addiction minimizing the
time
 for academic staff or a creative job.
As a result
, they can not gain enough knowledge to be productive personnel for companies, organizations and especially the government. And
this
 makes them unavailable and even unemployed losing their status in society.
For instance
, if they try to learn more in their spare
time
 over browsing for shopping, they will know how to deal with problems in managing their
time
 for both studying and entertaining. Summing up, shopping may be beneficial to decrease the level of stress and exhausting, youngsters should not lose their priceless
time
 on
such
 a nonsense activity affecting their social lives and reputation. Personally, I believe that the youth should utilize all their
time
 efficiently not being confused about
such
 an unprofitable thing.
Submitted by uluga2002 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • materialistic attitudes
  • excessive consumerism
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • peer pressure
  • financial irresponsibility
  • meaningful social relationships
  • family bonding
  • environmental degradation
  • commercial environments
  • productive activities
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