IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some employers want to be able to contacts their staff at a all times, even on holidays. Does this development have more advantages than disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
employers
Use synonyms
 wish to have the ability to reach their
employees
Use synonyms
 at any
time
Use synonyms
, even during their vacations.
While
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks,
such
Linking Words
 as employee dissatisfaction and burnout, I believe the main benefits,
for instance
Linking Words
, enhanced
client
Use synonyms
 satisfaction and increased productivity are more substantial. • On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
 topic, I mean some
employers
Use synonyms
 want to be able to contact their staff at all times, even on holidays, maybe employee dissatisfaction and burnout, constant access can lead to a lack of work-life balance, increasing stress and potentially causing long-term health issues. Another perceived negative is invasion of privacy,
employees
Use synonyms
 may feel that their
time
Use synonyms
 and space are being encroached upon, leading to resentment and lower morale. •
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a primary advantage of some
employers
Use synonyms
 who wish to have the ability to reach their
employees
Use synonyms
 at any
time
Use synonyms
, even during their vacations, is that with increased productivity,
employers
Use synonyms
 can address urgent issues swiftly, minimizing downtime and ensuring continuity in critical operations. A
further
Linking Words
 benefit is that enhanced
client
Use synonyms
 satisfaction, being available even during holidays can improve
client
Use synonyms
 relations by showcasing dedication and reliability. • On balance, it is true that some
employers
Use synonyms
 wish to have the ability to reach their
employees
Use synonyms
 at any
time
Use synonyms
, even during their vacations would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
Linking Words
, in my view, its positive effects in terms of enhanced
client
Use synonyms
 satisfaction and increased productivity override the disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve, make sure to include more specific examples and detailed support for each point. This will help to strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Consider refining your main points and providing a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to further enhance the logical flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The arguments are generally well-organized and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have effectively addressed the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages and providing a balanced view. Your essay offers comprehensive ideas with a clear position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • downtime
  • responsiveness
  • invasion of privacy
  • employee morale
  • dedication
  • reliability
  • client relations
  • overworked
  • efficiency
What to do next:
Look at other essays: