IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people buy new models of phones, computers and other technology. Why? Is this a good or bad thing?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary settings, more and more people are fascinated by updated versions of some cutting-edge devices
such
Linking Words
 as mobile phones or computers and purchase these
gadgets
Use synonyms
 regularly. The factors contributing to
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon will be discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay along with the reasons why I believe
this
Linking Words
 trend cuts both ways. Multiple factors result in
this
Linking Words
 fascination of consumers. To be more specific, with economic development, most people’s
disposal
Replace the word
disposable
show examples
 incomes have increased significantly, and
this
Linking Words
 means that they can afford these
items
Use synonyms
 relatively easily.
By contrast
Linking Words
, if they are still struggling to fill their stomachs, they are less likely to show their interest in these
items
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 financial reason, as long as these devices are renewed, new functions will be added to them, and
this
Linking Words
 always makes citizens’ lives more convenient.
Therefore
Linking Words
, for the sake of enjoying new and improved features, the vast majority of them have formed the habit of purchasing these
gadgets
Use synonyms
 at regular intervals. The practice of updating
gadgets
Use synonyms
 frequently can bring both benefits and drawbacks in equal measure. To commence with, in order to satisfy the huge demand for these
items
Use synonyms
, companies should produce more of them and
this
Linking Words
 creates more job vacancies for labourers.
This
Linking Words
 will reduce the unemployment rate and criminal activities because employed people are less likely to commit crimes.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, after buying the new versions of these
items
Use synonyms
, most consumers will dispose of the old ones.
This
Linking Words
 will lead to an increment in the amount of solid waste. In conclusion, people are updating their
gadgets
Use synonyms
 frequently because of their improved financial situation and the desire to enjoy new features.
This
Linking Words
 practice has both advantages and disadvantages in equal measure.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: