Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Some
people
believe that music
helps bring people
of different nationalities from all around the world and even different ages and generations. I completely agree with this
suggestion. In the following paragraphs, I intend to outline the arguments of
Change preposition
for
this
idea.
Firstly
, music
is also
well-known as a global language. The statistics demonstrate that approximately 35% of the listeners of famous music
do not understand its meaning. This
figure indicates that people
do not care about the language of the song, and it is all about melody. For instance
, music
concerts and music
festivals worldwide are the events with the most
Correct word choice
largest
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
in
Change preposition
apply
it
. If famous singers like Drake and The Weeknd and Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
like decide to hold a concert in different cities around the globe, the tickets will be sold out quickly. Furthermore
, there is various musical taste between
the Change preposition
among
people
. There is an article that says that like-minded people
with the same music
taste interact easier
.
Rephrase
more easily
On the other hand
, some music
is eternal. What I mean is different generations love these songs. For example
, if you analyze Michael Jackson’s concert, you will realize there are no age restrictions. People
between the age of 18-70 participate in this
concert, and everybody enjoys it. Moreover
, you can communicate with other people
of various ages through music
. You can talk about music
, and you might share your playlist with them and recommend them to listen to the latest music
and likewise
.
After having considered the aforementioned arguments in some depth, I have concluded that music
and everything connected with it can be a good tool for communicating with different nations and generations. This
proves that people
do not care about the language or even the concept of music
. They like its melody.Submitted by sia_21gr on
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the coherence of your essay.