Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
believe that
music
Use synonyms
helps bring
people
Use synonyms
of different nationalities from all around the world and even different ages and generations. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
suggestion. In the following paragraphs, I intend to outline the arguments
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
idea.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
is
also
Linking Words
well-known as a global language. The statistics demonstrate that approximately 35% of the listeners of famous
music
Use synonyms
do not understand its meaning.
This
Linking Words
figure indicates that
people
Use synonyms
do not care about the language of the song, and it is all about melody.
For instance
Linking Words
,
music
Use synonyms
concerts and
music
Use synonyms
festivals worldwide are the events with the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. If famous singers like Drake and The Weeknd and
such
Linking Words
like decide to hold a concert in different cities around the globe, the tickets will be sold out quickly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there is various musical taste
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
the
people
Use synonyms
. There is an article that says that like-minded
people
Use synonyms
with the same
music
Use synonyms
taste interact
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
music
Use synonyms
is eternal. What I mean is different generations love these songs.
For example
Linking Words
, if you analyze Michael Jackson’s concert, you will realize there are no age restrictions.
People
Use synonyms
between the age of 18-70 participate in
this
Linking Words
concert, and everybody enjoys it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you can communicate with other
people
Use synonyms
of various ages through
music
Use synonyms
. You can talk about
music
Use synonyms
, and you might share your playlist with them and recommend them to listen to the latest
music
Use synonyms
and
likewise
Linking Words
. After having considered the aforementioned arguments in some depth, I have concluded that
music
Use synonyms
and everything connected with it can be a good tool for communicating with different nations and generations.
This
Linking Words
proves that
people
Use synonyms
do not care about the language or even the concept of
music
Use synonyms
. They like its melody.
Submitted by sia_21gr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the coherence of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
What to do next:
Look at other essays: