In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, in some places, the issue of whether
people
Use synonyms
need to teach
children
Use synonyms
that
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
hard will lead to
success
Use synonyms
is important to them. It is true that in order to get one’s goal
people
Use synonyms
must try hard in order to reach their target,
such
Linking Words
as having enough money to live a stable
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
or being in great status which makes other
people
Use synonyms
admire,
children
Use synonyms
have to pay lots of effort on
study
Add an article
the study
show examples
. And
then
Linking Words
after they spend plenty of time learning new knowledge and technique, they will have a better score and find a job which can
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their expectation in earning money.
However
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
sometimes
people
Use synonyms
had
work
Wrong verb form
worked
show examples
hard
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they might fail because they
also
Linking Words
need to rely on fortune to
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, if
children
Use synonyms
didn’t get
the
Change the word
their
show examples
achievement after they had already
try
Change the verb form
tried
show examples
their best, they will feel very disappointed or even worse
Correct word choice
than
show examples
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
being frustrated and think it is meaningless to work hard.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my point of view, I think it is
also
Linking Words
extremely important to let
children
Use synonyms
realize that either effort or luck are essential for being
Use synonyms
Add an article
a success
show examples
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
. If we fail
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
our goal, we have to stay positive, look
foreword
Correct your spelling
forward
show examples
and keep
try
Change the form of the verb
trying
show examples
hard to prepare for the
next
Linking Words
challenge. To sum up, of course, it is true that working hard helps
people
Use synonyms
to
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
more easily but we must understand that fortune
also
Linking Words
will influence the consequence.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is necessary to tell
children
Use synonyms
that hard-working and fortune will lead to
success
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by 450617532 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: