Many customs and traditional ways of behaviors are no longer relevant to the modern life and no worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

Human

society

Use synonyms

has evolved substantially over the

last

Linking Words

centuries, and with

such

Linking Words

considerable changes come opinions that the old way of living has lost its

relevancy

Replace the word

relevance

show examples

and should be terminated. I cannot entirely agree as many

traditions

Use synonyms

remain

Use the right word

retain

show examples

their acute importance in shaping

generation’s

Correct article usage

the generation’s

show examples

behaviors

Use the right word

behaviours

show examples

and community. There are numerous conservative etiquette and concepts that appear

unworthwhile

Correct word choice

unworthy

show examples

to follow in the modern era. As the world is changing quickly, modern lifestyles differ significantly from the conventional ways of living.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the young generation with their forward-thinking ways should diminish those traditional cultures and even explore new cultural norms

instead

Linking Words

. The tradition of valuing men above women,

for example

Linking Words

, conflicts with feminism today. Those conventional concepts,

furthermore

Linking Words

defer

Use the right word

deter

show examples

individuals from pursuing their freedom,

in contrast

Linking Words

to the centric lifestyle of young people. Gender stereotypes

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as the belief of women's bias in housework, thereby preventing them from chasing their

dreams

Punctuation problem

dreams,

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

a salient instance of

this

Linking Words

Accordingly

Linking Words

, the young should have the freedom not to follow outdated customs and establish practices that are more appropriate for their time. .

However

Linking Words

, continuing to uphold social norms contributes to cultural preservation and

Correct article usage

a civilized

show examples

civilized

Use the right word

civilised

show examples

society

Use synonyms

. In simple words, if young people follow social

traditions

Use synonyms

in activities that are different between cultures, they would probably preserve the uniqueness of their heritage. It means that those practices give rise to cultural conservation. Adhering to social

traditions

Use synonyms

furthermore

Linking Words

, could educate younger people to have appropriate manners and morals. Traditionally minded Vietnamese parents,

for instance

Linking Words

instill

Use the right word

instil

show examples

in their children the value of bowing to their seniors, displaying their deep respect and appreciation.

Therefore

Linking Words

, teens are raised to be reliable and generous, creating a quality

society

Use synonyms

with

mannerism

Use the right word

manners

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

the young should be selective in choosing the social

traditions

Use synonyms

because of out-of-date conceptions, upholding customs and

traditions

Use synonyms

aids in conserving national heritage and educating

civilized

Use the right word

civilised

show examples

residents for

society

Use synonyms

thanh.jenny

Feb 9, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure

Your stance is not always clear. State your main position at the start and keep it clear in every paragraph.

grammar

Some sentences are long and hard to read. Use shorter, direct sentences.

content

Give reasons and examples for each point and link them back to your main view.

conclusion

End with a clear restatement of your view and a quick summary of main ideas.

content

The essay tries to discuss both sides of the issue.

cultural awareness

A real cultural example (bowing in Vietnam) shows understanding of culture.

organization

There is a general layout with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

311 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?
In this contemporary era, modern technology has replaced almost everything in people's everyday life. Some people argue that paying too much attention to and maintaining public libraries is a waste of money, as the newest computers can replace their functions. Personally, I disagree with that position, as local libraries can contribute to the development of the nation's culture. However, local libraries are at the heart of the nation's culture. Libraries, in their own right, mean much more than a place for reading, especially for elderly people. Some people prefer to visit the library not only to borrow a book or just to read, but also to interact with other individuals. For instance, old-fashioned people still visit the library with a purpose to socialize with others. Meanwhile, libraries are crucial for some nations. For instance, in Bulgaria, all the cultural activities on special days take place in the libraries as a symbol of culture. Furthermore, modern technology provides a s...
6.5
band
Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity ,improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that every high school curriculum should include voluntary community services such as working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to children. This essay completely agrees with this statement because charitable activities help to develop particular soft skills at an early age and spend their free time usefully.
6.5
band
The rise of social media has affeced personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?
Generally, personal relationships and social communications have been swayed by the development of social media. This author believes that the benefits of ranged connection and associated stability outweigh the drawbacks of lacking physical experiences.
7
band
#Health - "Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (IELTS 2, AC)
It is true that "Prevention is better than cure". Some argue that a large amount of a country's health budget must be allocated to focus more on health education and prevention methods. I completely agree with that notion because it will gradually improve the health condition of a country. Prevention of disease before it occurs, as well as more health awareness among people, will prove this.
8
band
One of your friends in a foreign country is starting an import-export business, and he has asked you to recommend a product from your country to him. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, -Say what product you want to recommend to him -Tell him/her where he/she can get this product -Explain why you want to recommend this product
I came to know that, you are interested in the export-import business, you are searching for a product, which is more demanding and good enough for a business point of view.

Many customs and traditional ways of behaviors are no longer relevant to the modern life and no worth keeping. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity ,improving the neighborhood or teaching sport to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The rise of social media has affeced personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

#Health - "Prevention is better than cure." Out of a country's health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? (IELTS 2, AC)