IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

modern technology is changing our world This has advantages such as bringing people together through communication it also has disadvantages such as destroying differences between cultures To what extent agree or disagree ===========================================

#technology #world #people #communication #differences #cultures
Today is
world
Add an article
a world
the world
show examples
 of
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
 era and there are a lot of changes
take
Correct pronoun usage
that take
show examples
 place
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
. As
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
 have both sides like pros and cons. So latest innovations
also
 have some benefits like
this
 helps in bringing
people
 closer and
also
 disadvantage of damaging cultures in society. I totally agree with the statement and explain my
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
views in the upcoming paragraphs. As communication is necessary between individuals to maintain relationships. With the help of modern technology, at present
people
 can communicate any part of the world anytime. They can even see their family members, relatives who are living in foreign countries through video calling. The one best method of communication which is most popular
now a days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 is chatting, which delivers messages instantly to
other person
Change the wording
another person
other people
show examples
 who is living far away from us.
This
ease
Change the verb form
eases
show examples
 the life of individuals and provide some comfort in life.
This
 is very helpful in
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
 and emergency when
people
 need to transfer any message
immediatly
Correct your spelling
immediately
.
On the other hand
, new technology
also
destroy
Change the verb form
destroys
show examples
 our relationships as
people
 are now becoming too dependent on it which damages our cultures like
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 festivals or on special
ocassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
people
 visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
each others house to give them greetings and gifts. But due to
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 technology they do not feel any need to personally go anywhere, they only call or send text messages to their relatives which destroy the feelings of
sociey
Correct your spelling
society
 and rituals of the
ocassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
. To conclude, in today's busy world nobody have time to personally visit everywhere and give them message personally, so modern methods of
technogy
Correct your spelling
technology
 are
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 way to transfer them as early as possible. No doubt, it destroys our relations to some extent but communication is necessary, it will be in any form and
this
also
 keeps them in touch
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 each other, no matter in any form.
Submitted by Kamaljeetkaur6968 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: