IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#internet #books #air #tickets #groceries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In nowadays
Change preposition
Nowadays
show examples
, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 trying to buy
things
Use synonyms
 on the internet, because it is more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 than buying
things
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical stores, you just need to use your finger to click the
things
Use synonyms
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 you want on the online
shops
Use synonyms
 and pay a small sum of money for delivery
then
Linking Words
 the seller will receive the order on their online shop and send the goods to you in a short time, that means you can save the time on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to buy
things
Use synonyms
 and you don’t have to figure out how to carry them. Some
people
Use synonyms
 may
worried
Change the verb form
be worried
worry
show examples
 about the goods will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 or be stolen when they are in delivery.
This
Linking Words
 may
happened
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
 in the early days of online shopping. But now, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 join
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the line of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online shopping, so the protection is getting better and better.
Secondly
Linking Words
, about the
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 part, we can book the air ticket or train ticket and even the hotel and so on,
this
Linking Words
 has led to the rapid development of tourism, we don’t need to think about "will we not have
place
Add an article
a place
show examples
 to live during the trip." ”will we not be able to get
ticket
Add an article
a ticket
show examples
 if we plan to travel.”
This
Linking Words
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 to plan their
trip
Fix the agreement mistake
trips
show examples
 in advance. These are the advantages of online shopping and the reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 like it.
However
Linking Words
, still got
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 can not accept purchasing online and prefer to visit
shops
Use synonyms
 personally to buy, they thought
although
Linking Words
 it will need to spend more time on travel,
buy
Correct your spelling
but
show examples
 they can see the real
things
Use synonyms
 and touch the real
things
Use synonyms
 in the
shops
Use synonyms
, that allow them to make better choices and decisions. In a word, in my opinion, the
Replace the word
appearance
show examples
appear
Correct your spelling
appeal
show examples
 of online shopping is good for purchasing, so to avoid some of the
things
Use synonyms
 that we worry about, we can buy the
things
Use synonyms
 which is expensive in the physical
shops
Use synonyms
 and other
things
Use synonyms
 that are not very expensive we can choose to buy it online.
Submitted by myang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • time-saving
  • wide selection
  • competitive prices
  • discounts
  • accessibility
  • global marketplace
  • availability
  • fraud
  • scams
  • lack of
  • physical interaction
  • personal experience
  • impersonal
  • customer service
  • delays
  • delivery
  • return process
What to do next:
Look at other essays: