IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #technology
The improvement of
technology
 has
brought
Verb problem
made
show examples
 game-changing in
people
's habits more flexible including shopping,
while
 some
people
 are not sure that
technology
 leads to an easier life. In my personal opinion, I believe that
technology
 has been made to help humans
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 difficult things
bemuch
Correct your spelling
much
 easier, specifically in terms of shopping. In
this
 current day, advanced
technology
 shows big changes in shopping activities,
whereas
, in the past
people
 had to look and purchase goods directly in shops. But, nowadays, it can be seen that buyers do not waste time to go and look for what they want in the market because
technology
 devices have provided websites and applications for them to do online shopping.
Moreover
, online shopping can be accessed from anywhere and anytime.
In other words
,
people
 can save the majority of their time on other valuable activities rather than spending on the surrounding market, and
also
 their money to drive transportation
while
 going out shopping. On the other side, some
people
 disagree towards the notion, since they think that the picture of goods sold on websites and applications can be manipulated by everyone, and sometimes end in dissatisfied results.
For instance
, when I bought a dress from an application, the dress's photo totally attracted me and seems fit me.
As a result
, after the dress was delivered and arrived, it had
distinguished
Correct article usage
a distinguished
show examples
 shape and colour from the original photos.
This
 is a simple example, compared to the other experiences that have not led to an easier life but to an unsatisfied experience. In conclusion,
although
 there are several repercussions experienced by online shopping, humans cannot deny that shopping online has enormous benefits which help
people
 who do not have much time to do shopping.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, it's important to ensure that paragraphs are logically ordered and that ideas flow smoothly from one to another. Utilising a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph maintains a clear central topic can enhance the overall structure of your essay.
Task Achievement
Regarding task achievement, you should aim to fully address all parts of the task. This means discussing both views thoroughly and providing a balanced argument before stating your opinion. Develop your main points further with more detailed examples and explanations to support your viewpoints.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: