Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination. While others believe that other factores like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #factores #money #appearance

Hard

work

is the root of success. Unfortunately, few masses think that hard

work

and

determination

are the keys to becoming a successful person.

However

,others believe in good looks and financial status.

This

essay with both views and I think that hard

work

is more weightage than

money

and personal appearance.

People

say

this

hard

work

and

determination

are essential to becoming successful. A few individuals dare to achieve their goals in their life because they have the decision to create their dream into reality.

For example

, the famous inventor Elon Musk build a 300 billion dollars fortune due to their hard

work

and

determination

Therefore

, SpaceX is their latest technology with a space project that re-uses flying objects. In an interview, he said," I worked hard for 12 hours a day, and still

people

say it was just luck, but they never saw my

determination

and hard

work

behind

this

project."

Therefore

, he is an inspiration for millions of

people

. Others who believe in

money

and looks have their own opinion,

people

those who have

money

can invest in the share market and start their own business through success in their lives.

For instance

, Rakesh Jhunjhunwala is an Indian investor who invested their

money

in India's stock market, and he created much

money

with

this

because he knows how to make

money

work

Moreover

, a good appearance brings confidence to a person. Due to

this

, they become successful with their confidence and personal look works in the film industry. To sum up, I believe in hard

work

more than in looks and

money

. Many

people

become successful through their

determination

, and they believe in themself. They take destiny into their hand.

Submitted by rayatsahil7 on Thu Feb 10 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination. While others believe that other factores like money and personal appearance are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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