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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

‏n many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#‏n #countries #men #women #work #time #people #household #e #g #children
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In recent times
household
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tasks
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 have increased. It is a highly debatable issue whether
parents
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 should share
household
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tasks
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, or whether it is the
women
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's responsibility. I agree that both males and females should have equal
household
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tasks
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.
This
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 essay will outline the benefits of helping each other in-home activities. Working with both males and females together has a vital role in social life. It promotes a sense of collaboration between
parents
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 which can lead to empathy.
For example
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, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University illustrates that 90% of
parents
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 live happier lives than those who depend only on
women
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.
Furthermore
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, helping each other with
household
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tasks
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 may open doors to exploring a new experience. If the men try to cook food, potentially they will be empowered to cook various types of food.
Thus
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, they could learn and gain experience from each other.
In addition
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,
parents
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 can learn to become independent people.
this
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 may help them when they travel abroad.
For instance
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, my friend Fatma her husband always helps her and now he is self-reliant as he can clean and wash clothes when he travels abroad.
Moreover
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, the benefits of helping each other are not only limited to
household
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tasks
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 but
also
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 have a big impact on saving time. Men and
women
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 would often finish their work early and without effort. To illustrate, my sister has enough time to visit her relatives and shopping
due to
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 her husband's help. So,
this
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 can make the family more relaxed. In conclusion, boosting self-esteem, gaining many skills , being independent people and saving time are all the benefits of sharing
household
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tasks
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.
Therefore
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, the idea of depending only on
women
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 should be stopped. Both males and females should have a balanced life.
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Proofread the essay for minor grammar and punctuation errors to improve coherence.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position and what the essay will discuss.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a solid conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your arguments, making the essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Logical flow between paragraphs helps the reader follow your reasoning.
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