Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

It is often said that humans who are of dissimilar generations or nationalities benefit from listening to music.It seems to me that the above submission is convenient for most people, and I will explain why in
this
essay.
Firstly
, generally speaking, numerous persons spend their leisure time listening to the melody which can bring contented feelings to the mind of the people.These range from elderly human beings to teenagers.
For example
, countless families often watch together operas which are shown on television.
This
means even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
are the same age or not, they listen together,
moreover
,
whereas
Correct word choice
when
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they relax they discuss their family subjects.
Furthermore
, a second factor is doing exercises
while
hearing the songs.
This
does not have discrimination.
For instance
, at these activities, there are a lot of souls who are ageing populations, women, men, teenagers,
consequently
Correct word choice
and consequently
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, different citizens, at
this
,point they together participate that case with several fun times.
In addition
, the tune can be described as the universal language, from
this
we can know the other individuals' personalities.For illustration, in the majority of cases, men or women who
liked
Wrong verb form
like
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to rock have a strong mentality,
similarly
, the community who prefer classical music
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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the habit of keeping calm.
Secondly
, we can
also
know
mortals
Correct word choice
whether mortals
show examples
are happy or sad.
This
is not to say that the overhead fact is always true.
Subsequently
, the main important remedy is
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
communications
Fix the agreement mistake
communication
show examples
with different nationalities who are not similar in languages.
This
can be seen, especially in
K-pops
Correct your spelling
K-pop
show examples
, in today's modern world,
K-Pop
Correct your spelling
K-pop
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is the most popular genre aside
of
Change preposition
from
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other types,
this
can combine countless tribes to sing simultaneously. It is true that some negative situations
also
have in
this
issue,
such
as noise pollution which is played at excessive volumes.Despite
this
, there are a large number of positive effects which can reduce stress and depression.
To conclude
, strains have countless benefits including the combinations of separate languages and ages ,
nevertheless
,
this
has a little negative impact, despite ,
this
is not a major problem.
Submitted by thetpaingphuewaigracie on

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coherence cohesion
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lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and vary your sentence structures for more clarity and fluency.
grammatical range accuracy
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Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
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