Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes, others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

According to some people, the

government

Use synonyms

should invest more money in sporting

facilities

Use synonyms

to train top

athletes

Use synonyms

; others,

however

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, insist that

this

Linking Words

money should be spent on building

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

Use synonyms

for ordinary people. In my opinion, it is important to allocate funds for

both

Use synonyms

equally. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on

both

Use synonyms

viewpoints. On the one hand, there are several reasons to spend money on

sports

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facilities

Use synonyms

for

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

top competitors. To commence with, society argues that sportspersons bring fame and glory to a

nation

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by winning a medal or trophy in events

such

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as the Olympics and the World Cup. After all,

this

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increases the global recognition of a

nation

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as well as help them gain respect in the eyes of the world. So, it is crucial for the state to invest in state-of-the-art training material for their player so that they can perform better at international events.

Secondly

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, due to the popularity of players, they positively encourage the youth of the

nation

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to adopt

sports

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and lead a healthy lifestyle;

consequently

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, adults and children are enticed to exercise and become healthier.

This

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helps the country as a whole because when communities are fit/healthy, they exert less pressure on the healthcare system.

On the other hand

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, there are some reasons to invest in

sports

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apparatus for the ordinary public as well.

Firstly

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, it is a fact that today’s generation leads a sedentary lifestyle causing many health problems in adults as well as children. So, it is crucial to

build

Change the verb form

building

show examples

places where residents can go to activities and be involved in physical activities. In ,cities there are limited open spaces or gardens to workout, to tackle

this

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problem the authority should construct indoor gyms and auditoriums for society to enjoy themselves and exercise.

Secondly

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such

Linking Words

places can

also

Linking Words

organize recreational group activities like yoga, kick-boxing and Zumba which will

further

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help a large number of crowds at the same time and under the same roof.

Furthermore

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, the

government

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can charge a nominal fee to provide access to these places, which will assist in the maintenance and nullify expenditure too. In my opinion, the

government

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should spend on machinery which can be used by

both

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top

athletes

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and common people, though it can have dedicated apparatus to be used exclusively by

athletes

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Although

Linking Words

it is fundamental to cater to the needs of the local

nation

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, it is essential to work towards global achievements, and

sports

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is one of the spectrums wherein with hard work and dedication a country can upscale their name and honour. To conclude, I would like to reiterate that

sports

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facilities

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are essential for

both

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athletes

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and laymen as they help them to train and stay physically active. So, the

government

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should spend its budget wisely to make

facilities

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available for everyone.

tamorah2020

Feb 11, 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

466 words

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Some people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes, others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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