Some experts say for road safety cyclists should pass a test before being allowed on public roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Medical care over the past century has improved dramatically.
As a consequence
, the
world
's population now has
longer
Add an article
a longer
show examples
life
expectancy, but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
this
having a harmful effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
world
or is
this
a positive output
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
One issue with an older population is that it can create enormous demands on a nation's health service. As people live longer in their old age, the chances of them suffering from
scrious
Correct your spelling
serious
illnesses
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
. A negative view is that living longer does not necessarily bring happiness. By
this
I mean, an older person is unable to do many of the activities that they want to do, leading to the likelihood of depression and a deterioration in their physical health. There is
also
a positive side, which is elders can enjoy more with their families, grandparents with their grandchildren especially.
Also
, there is the fact that
this people
Change the determiner
this person
these people
show examples
after having
finish
Wrong verb form
finished
show examples
their working
life
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would be able to enjoy fully their retainment
life
as they live longer there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
possibilities to explore the
world
, learn hobbies and languages.
However
,
this
would happen in cases where they have a healthy
life
. In conclusion, is difficult to tell if longer
life
expectancy is bad for the
world
. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion,
this
could bring issues
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for the healthcare system but
this
has solutions
such
as technology. Technological medicine has advanced
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
an astonishing rates
Correct the article-noun agreement
an astonishing rate
astonishing rates
show examples
, and
this
will keep going with the years, so
this
issue won't be a problem in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
decades.
Submitted by nathaliaceccarelli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: