IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that employers should not care about the way their employees dress because what matters is the quality of their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often argued that the dress code of
employees
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 is not necessary simply because it does not affect the quality of their production. In my point of view, I agree with
this
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 opinion.
However
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, it does not
also
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 show off their professionalism and respect of staff as formal
clothes
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. On the one hand,
employees
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 do not need to care about their
clothes
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 when they go to
work
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.
Firstly
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, it provides comfort and motivation when they wear their favourite attire.
Furthermore
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, comfortable
clothes
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 are helpful for focusing on
work
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 because workers feel
like
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in
show examples
 their home zone.
For example
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,
employees
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work
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 in a private environment and spend most of their time on a computer or laptop; normal
clothes
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 are easier to
work
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 in and make them more relaxed. From that, some companies may not be affected by how their
employees
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 dress.
On the other hand
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, uniform plays a quintessential role in the service industry.
This
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 means that service industries like restaurants and cafes need to have formal
clothes
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 for workers because it is the easiest way to find waiters or waitresses. At the same time,
informative
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the informative
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 job of a receptionist needs to have
proper
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a proper
show examples
 uniform which shows the quality of their
work
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.
Thus
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, these things become the first impression of customers which represents the productivity of companies. In conclusion,
although
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 one's clothing choice does not directly influence their working style, its relevance is worth considering depending on the nature of production. Formal wear shows
professionalism
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the professionalism
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 of
work
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 that helps for popularity.

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas more to provide a clear and comprehensive argument. For instance, delve deeper into why comfort and home-like zones increase productivity.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. It will help your essay flow better.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and provide a nice frame for your essay.
task achievement
You have some relevant examples, like the comfort of employees and the importance of uniforms in service industries.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dress code
  • professional attire
  • workplace culture
  • productivity
  • branding
  • perception
  • creativity
  • equality
  • bias
  • discrimination
  • first impressions
  • freedom of expression
  • quality of work
  • skill set
  • professionalism
  • comfort
  • clientele
  • stakeholders
  • competence
  • formal attire
What to do next:
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