Do you think that people who work online at home are more productive than office workers or the other way around? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

Due to
the pandemic,working at home or going to the organisation for
work
purposes is a contentious topic.
As several
Correct word choice
Several
show examples
individuals believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees
who
are completing
Wrong verb form
complete
show examples
office
work
at their houses are effective in achieving their goals
while
others contradict their idea and believe that working at
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
fruitful results in comparison with working at dwelling.
Moreover
,I profoundly assert that people should
work
at their houses because of abundant reasons that I would like to explicate in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with,working at home not only provides time savage benefits but
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps an individual to save the income that they would have been spending on commuting to their offices.
Furthermore
,
employees
can
work
unlimited at their own convenience as they save
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travelling which they can devote to the
work
that will help them to increase their
productivity
.
For instance
,enormous studies have consistently found that workers working at their homes are not only elated but
also
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have enhanced their speed of working.
Therefore
,online working has proved to be a blessing for the company
as well as
for the
employees
.
In addition
to it,workers get an opportunity to wear comfortable outfits that not only
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
a pivotal role in their
productivity
but
also
it will increase their speed of working.In spite of wearing formal clothes
employees
get uncomfortable at their offices and it may reduce their
productivity
because of the distraction of the formal attire.
For example
,a survey conducted by the World Employment
report
Capitalize word
Report
show examples
depicts that during the summer season because of the fixed pattern of formal clothing,workers get stressed as they sweat makes them irritated and produces low
productivity
on behalf of them.
As a result
,companies must allow their staff to
work
from their dwelling because of the comfort advantage. In conclusion,I firmly believe that working online at home provides myriad benefits to the company
as well as
to the employee.
Although
,staff gets economic benefits
besides
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it diminishes their time wastage.
However
,working from their apartment reduces stress as individuals can
work
by wearing casual clothes.
Submitted by harsimars329 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay needs to provide a more focused and clear response to the task question. It should address both the advantages and disadvantages of working from home and the office, providing a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear. The ideas are not organized in a logical sequence, making the essay difficult to follow. The introduction and conclusion are present, but the development of ideas could be better organized.
lexical resource
The essay lacks a variety of vocabulary and could benefit from using more sophisticated and nuanced language to express ideas. Additionally, there are instances of awkward phrasing and errors in word choice.
grammatical range
The essay demonstrates some control of a range of complex structures, but there are inconsistencies in the use of grammatical forms and some errors in sentence structure and punctuation.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: