IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many people think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree

Many
states
Change noun form
state's
states'
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 efforts to reduce criminal activity
where
Add a missing verb
are where
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 many folks consider that using additional
cops
Use synonyms
 on the boulevard is the alternative solution. From my perspective,
this
Linking Words
 proposition is completely true. It seems undeniable that illegal activity in an area is increasing. It is perused that everywhere some persons are engaged
to
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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scandal where it can be detected drastically.
As a consequence
Linking Words
, it is getting harder to control crime aspects and a lot of people suffer from it.
Thus
Linking Words
, utilizing more police can be a bypass solution where it can be easily measured.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals consider
cops
Use synonyms
 are not fit for all places
For instance
Linking Words
, in the USA after the implementation of the FBI they can control their illegal phenomenon.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the FBI cannot provide the solution accurately in all places.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there are a lot of matters which can be controlled by the
polices
Correct subject-verb agreement
police
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. It can be described that to control the wrongdoing root source there must be a find out system.
As a result
Linking Words
,
cops
Use synonyms
 are eligible indistinctly. In
this
Linking Words
 way, there must be a police force system.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there must be a digital system where police
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not acceptable.
For example
Linking Words
, law enforcement is the key factor to protect their state.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, a digital camera must be required where
cops
Use synonyms
 cannot do anything. In conclusion, to lessen crime there is no later way
of
Change preposition
for
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 the security forces.
However
Linking Words
, electronic systems must be in line with the detective so that chips
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 run smoothly. I am
in
Change preposition
of
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 the opinion,
all
Correct word choice
that all
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 systems should be upgraded for the time being.

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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