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Band 5.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others, However, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #lives #changes #change
At, present there are a lot of opinions
toward
Change preposition
regarding
show examples
 the way of living. One proportion of people learn stability and change nothing
while
 the other one believes that changes have only positive aspects. I believe, that both philosophies are worth considering in terms of types of changes.
Firstly
, individuals living stable
avoiding
Correct word choice
and avoiding
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 new advances likely think that they do not need
for
Change preposition
apply
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anything all of their success
was
Verb problem
has
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 already achieved. I suppose, that personalities do not see the ways for development and they do not try to break the way of learning they build.
On the other hand
, it is more convenient to predict the future in terms of long taxes, and holidays, but it is believed that
such
 life can transform into a routine and become annoying. On the other side of the spectrum, proponents of changing a job domain periodically or frequently argue that it might lead to personal growth through knowing various skills.
Moreover
, in
this
 age of possibilities, if a person comes out of
the
Change the word
their
her
his
show examples
 comfort zone and tries new things, it can open doors to opportunities.
While
this
 may seem challenging, it can turn out to be a rewarding pursuit in
long
Correct article usage
the long
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 run.
For instance
, normally in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 corporate world, a person who has knowledge in different fields holds more possibilities to get
promotion
Correct article usage
a promotion
show examples
 to a higher level.
Also
, those who embrace changes are insulated from the problem of boredom. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have merits.
However
, in my perspective, even though being in the same field of work looks steady, it may create a giant gap between opportunities and the latest technologies.
Submitted by rruwwwa on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide more supporting details for both views and your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Add more transition words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion.
grammatical range accuracy
Use a more formal and academic tone throughout the essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Check for punctuation and capitalization errors.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • mastery
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • personal growth
  • resilience
  • hesitancy
  • risk-taking
  • transitions
  • enrichment
  • equilibrium
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