In most parts of the world, people are living longer. What is the possible cause of this situation? Is this a negative or positive development?

In
this
burgeoning world,
people
are living longer as compared to the past, in most regions of the globe. In
this
essay, I will discuss the biggest reason for
this
is health awareness among individuals and explain its benefits and drawbacks.
To begin
,
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cause of increased age is the healthy lifestyle which is being followed by the majority of
people
. They prefer to eat fresh and healthy meals followed by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular exercise ,meditation, yoga etc. to stay fit.
This
will result in
an increased immunity levels
Correct the article-noun agreement
increased immunity levels
an increased immunity level
show examples
and
hence
keep them away from the
flue
Correct your spelling
flu
show examples
and other communicable diseases.
For example
, during the covid pandemic, the count of infected
people
is high for those who have obesity, lung and other health problems as compared to the others.
Therefore
, staying fit is a way to stress-free and long life. The decreased death rate of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
old age has a negative impact . Because elders need more time, money and medicines for their care, a consequence of that younger ones
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a barrier in their career growth due to them. Sometimes they have to reject their growth options which are available overseas.
On the other hand
, healthy
people
keep on working till the end of their life which is helping in the development of a region. Elders are
also
spending more time improving the community after their retirement. In nutshell,
People
are living long by following a good diet and physical workout. The increased population of the old aged
people
have a negative impact because of their care but has more benefits to the society.
Submitted by davinderkaur3190 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: