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Band 5.5

Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #resources #attention #protection #animals #birds
In many countries, the reductions in the number of animals and birds are consistent for over a decade,
therefore
 numerous assets and awareness are needed to take care
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
. It seems to me that the above statement is convenient for the world, and I will explain why in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, funds are worth
to use
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using
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 to protect critters because they are beautiful creatures for the earth. If they did not have in the land, there would
be feel
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feel
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 like a loss
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 something that we can't imagine. The example can be seen in the disappearance of dinosaurs that can only see at the museum as a pattern with bones.
Secondly
, we can get several advantages from them
such
 as bees who develop honey from their honeycombs,
however
,
this
 is not to say to be overused.
In addition
, the balance of nature is the major reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 case.
For example
, if individuals
destroied
Correct your spelling
destroyed
 forests and killed mammals,
this
 would be the problem of climate change.
Finally
, we can
also
 get opportunities like to construct zoos which have both advantages for non-humans and finance for human beings. For illustration, the incomes are gotten from the visitors who came to the zoo
therefore
 the owners of that place can maintain animals
such
 as lions, monkeys, birds and so on. It is true that there are some negatives to look after beasts
such
 finical problems which need countless amounts of money to buy facilities and rent workers.
Moreover
, there are different situations where need help from the government
such
 as orphans, pollution, transportation and so on. In summary, the sources of beauty, the foods and takings that are received from them with the indirect methods combine together to the reasons that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds,
thus
, I agree with the fact which is given in question because of the above remedies.
Submitted by thetpaingphuewaigracie on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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