Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many individuals believe that youngsters should work part-time and make money in order to obtain life skills, while a sizeable group thinks that they should focus on their extracurricular activities. In my opinion, there should be a balance between attempting to earn money and being engaged in after-school activities and I will discuss both views in the course of

this

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essay. To commence with, teenagers obtain various skills of while for a few hours every day,

such

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as time and money management. Students,

for instance

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, might be able to manage their school along with their job effectively, resulting in better management of their time.

Similarly

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, these job opportunities enable them to obtain work experience and to understand the real world outside their academic institutions.

For instance

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, it helps them to make better choices for their future.

On the contrary

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, it is

also

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observed that youngsters dedicating a certain amount of time to earn can have a negative impact on their academics.

For example

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, due to their busy schedule, they might find it difficult to deliver results in their assessments conducted by schools, in resulting a decrease in their overall academic performance.

In addition

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this

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, in an attempt to gain exposure to real employment, they fail to engage in activities that are crucial for their overall development.

For example

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, reading or sports. These practices help the pupil to maintain their health and

also

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improve creativity and innovation. In conclusion, after a thorough analysis,

although

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it seems unfair to let young people subject to employment at an early age, it might seem possible and beneficial for them to work and study by laying out a plan to accommodate both aspects to acquire balance.

Submitted by jabeenfarhana9 on Tue Feb 15 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

281 words

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Some people say that teenagers should work part-time and earn money. This way they will learn basic lessons about work and become more disciplined. Others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after-school activities to work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies for young people in some countries. It is undeniable that having a little bit of leisure time has become an essential part of our life.

In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?

Percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

Some people say that what people do to protect the environment cannot make a difference

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their health and diet, while others believe that governments should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.