IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

There is a reality that numerous
people
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 are pursuing their
job
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 with no passion and with no interest in.
This
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 social phenomena occurred
due to
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 several backgrounds,
moreover
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this
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 ultimately leads to consequences that will affect the worker as well.
To begin
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 with, working life and
education
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 are highly related to each other. Many
people
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 do their work only to cover their daily needs.
This
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 case frequently happens in the lower-middle class society. They have limited access to higher
education
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, their priority is to fulfil their primer needs
such
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 as clothes, food and housing where they do not put
education
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 on the list. Given the low
education
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, it makes them have limited
job
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 choices
such
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 as they are only capable of applying for blue collar jobs where in some countries they do not need a higher degree.
However
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, the consequences of
people
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 who do not pursue their
job
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 passionately will lead to domino effects. The real example is their mental health, sometimes
people
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 would feel forced to work that will lead them to feel stressed so he would not give his best performance that will impact the company,
moreover
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 when a worker serves in the executive role his presents will have a great effect for the company. In conclusion, the choices of the working field are related to
education
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, the higher
education
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 a worker could pursue will guide to more opportunities of work they are interested in. When
people
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 do their
job
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 in passion they will give their maximum result that will help the company to achieve their goals.

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planning
Plan what you want to say. Write a short plan with two or three main ideas before you start. Then keep to those ideas.
grammar
Use fewer long and complex sentences. Short, clear sentences help the reader. Check grammar and form.
content
Give one clear example for each point. This adds detail and helps show your view.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like first, next, also, but, because. This helps the flow.
vocabulary
Check words you use. Use common, safe words to avoid mistakes.
content
The essay tries to answer both parts of the question: why it happens and the effects.
structure
There is a clear end that restates main idea.
coherence
There are attempts to use linking words to show order or contrast.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dread
  • passion
  • inherent talent
  • fufilling
  • career
  • job
  • fulfilled
  • unhappy
  • unsatisfied
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • emotional well-being
  • potential
  • achieve
  • success
  • personal growth
What to do next:
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