IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that government should take care of disadvantaged people such as unemployed and homeless people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #government #care
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It is irrefutable that each
Use synonyms
children
Change to a singular noun
child
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has
Change the verb form
have
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own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
his own
her own
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 method to grasp information. Some
peoble
Correct your spelling
people
 think that
children
Use synonyms
 should be driven by their parents in joining the
group
Use synonyms
 pursuits in their leisure time while others believe that it is dispensable for young people to study by themselves. I strongly agree with the former view and the reason to support my opinion and both views of
this
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 topic will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, it is no exaggeration to say that learning by facing with own experience will allow
children
Use synonyms
 to gain humungous of understandings and unforgettable memories.
Children
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 will see their implications clearly.
Consequently
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, there will be less
errorness
Correct your spelling
errors
 in their prosperities.
Furthermore
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, some
children
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 are more likely to comfort in learning by
Correct your spelling
themselves
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
.
For instance
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, Anna, my younger sister, love to study in her room privately rather than having a
group
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 discussion with her friends. She told me that
this
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 method maximizes most of her efficiencies in grasping the lessons.
On the other hand
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, having extracurricular activities will bring a wide range of advantages to
children
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.
This
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 is one of
effective
Add an article
the effective
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 ways to build
resume
Add an article
a resume
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 which will help in leading young people to become
a
Correct article usage
apply
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strong
candidate
Fix the agreement mistake
candidates
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 in applying for jobs or
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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college in the future. Joining these
group
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 sessions,
moreover
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, will undoubtedly provide
a
Remove the article
apply
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plenty of practical
skills
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such
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 as interpersonal
skills
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, communicating
skills
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 and so on.
Also
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,
children
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 can expand their networking and have
the
Correct article usage
apply
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useful connection since they will meet
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people from all walks of
Correct your spelling
life
lives
life's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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. In conclusion, it depends on
individual
Add an article
the individual
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 person to decide on what is the foremost method for themselves.
However
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, I re-affirm that joining
group
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 activities will provide much more benefits for
children
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such
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 as practical
skills
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 and expanding their social circles. It is important for parents to encourage the best thing for their
children
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.
Submitted by jetiya.chaimann on

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