IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that educated people are more valuable than people who have learned skills through experience. Do you think that educated people are the most valuable for society? What kinds of skills can people learn through experience that can benefit society?

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Undoubtedly, qualified
people
Use synonyms
 are contributing more to the nation than skilled
people
Use synonyms
, who
gained
Wrong verb form
gain
show examples
 knowledge through
experienced
Replace the word
experience
show examples
. In my view, well informed society can bring
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of positive
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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 and results to the surroundings. There are numerous opportunities, which can converted
in to
Join the words
into
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the
Correct article usage
a
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worth
Replace the word
worthwhile
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 experience for the uneducated Pupil.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the opinions regarding
educated
Replace the word
education
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 and
trained
Wrong verb form
training
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 through
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
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. Obviously,
knowledgeable
Add an article
the knowledgeable
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 public
are
Change the verb form
is
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 vital source to grow
the
Correct article usage
apply
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industries, businesses,
software
Correct word choice
and software
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 technologies with their talent.
For instance
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, intelligent competitors can execute the
companies
Change noun form
company's
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 projects to the productive results and
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
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. Eventually, it helps to develop
market
Add an article
the market
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 scenario and
hence
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overall
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 country's economy.
Graduate trained
Add a hyphen
Graduate-trained
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 and certified
student's
Change noun form
students
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 get first priority to appear
the
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on the
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 tests
due to
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 criteria.
However
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, though there are experienced
people
Use synonyms
 with sound characteristics, cannot apply to the potential jobs and opportunities because of no or poor academic record. I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 intellectual
people
Use synonyms
 can create good
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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,
can
Verb problem
apply
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boost financial
Planning’s
Change noun form
Planning
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 and spread
the
Correct article usage
apply
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motivated energy to the community.
On the other hand
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, it has been seen that, mostly computer technology has been
contributing
Wrong verb form
contributed
show examples
 by highly certified
or
Correct word choice
apply
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IT persons to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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beginners. Basic
computers
Change the noun form
computer
show examples
 skills would surely explore the job for those learners. Fields
such
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 as arts, accountants,
music
Correct word choice
and music
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 are
also
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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options for the needy one, who can take the
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
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for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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short term basis and implement them
in to
Join the words
into
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 the earnings by various functions. I admit,
if
Correct word choice
that if
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 the authorities promote
to enhance
Change the verb form
enhancing
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 the competency of persons based on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professionalism, it would influence to
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
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crimes
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of crimes
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, unemployment ,
poverty
Correct word choice
and poverty
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. Poor background families will get
motivate
Change the verb form
motivated
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 and inspire
to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children's
Change noun form
children
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 to accomplish
the
Change the word
their
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 dreams and goals. In conclusion,
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 informative generation is precious for the country, as they are the future of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Similarly
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, knowledge sharing must do for the adding Capabilities to the
youngster's
Change the noun form
youngsters
youngster
show examples
.
This
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 will support
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society to create equality in human beings.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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