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Band 4.5

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. Has the positive effects been more than negative ?

#people #technology #effects
In
this
 contemporary era, owing to technological gadgets the
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 of
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of individuals has substantially altered. Whilst acknowledging that there are some drawbacks,
this
 essay will argue that the advantages of
technology
 are more than its disadvantages. On the
one
 hand, advancement in
technology
 Haas myriad benefits.
Firstly
, internet facilities
has
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have
show examples
 brought ease to people life
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 students.
That
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
 can attend their coursework online at home in case of any difficulty.
For instance
, in the pandemic of
Correct article usage
the Corona
show examples
Corona
Correct your spelling
Coronavirus
show examples
virus
Add a comma
,virus
show examples
 it was only
web
Correct article usage
the web
show examples
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 assisted pupils a lot to continue their school and college tasks.
Moreover
, many jobs were in progress because of
technology
.
Secondly
, it is an effective source of communication. To illustrate, prior to
web
Add an article
the web
show examples
 it was impossible to contact a relative or friend who lived abroad which is very easy nowadays due to
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 by using many apps like Watsapp and Skype.
Besides
, more and more people are using
technology
 as a way of their earnings.
One
 clear example is that many vloggers show their daily routines with some beneficial tips for viewers. In
return
Add a comma
,return
show examples
 they get smart salaries.
On the other hand
,
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite
 of having these positive effects,
technology
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some drawbacks.
Firstly
, social interaction amount family members
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 diminished and everyone is in contact with
one
 another through phones which causes the feeling of loneliness and lack of confidence among individuals especially, minors for whom social relationships are very pivotal.
One
 clear example is that most children are getting introverts and
this
 is creating many problems in their future life. After having discussed the pertinent points it can be inferred that,
although
technology
 has more good aspects, it
also
 has
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 negative sides.
Submitted by drsanaghani on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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