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Band 5

Nowadays the eating habits of people around the world are changing, causing them many health problems, including obesity. Why do people tend to eat so badly? What can be done to improve their eating habits.

#habits #people #world #health #obesity
The issue of obesity around the world has grown . Changing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eating habits led to
health
 problems in numerous
people
 .I believe exploring the causes of
this
problem
 can assist in finding a suitable solution to resolve it. Indulging in fatty
food
 could partly account for bad poor eating habits . These days ,most
people
 are willing to eat fast
food
 and fatty
food
 . They complain that they do not have enough time to cook .
Consequently
 , they force to give
food
 from restaurants.To address
this
problem
 ,
people
 should be informed that their poor diet can cause several
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
such
 as indigestion and heart issues . Government should encourage
people
 to have a sensible diet and they must limit fat intake and follow a salt-free diet
Advertisements
also
 explain why
people
 turn to
food
 with poor nutrition value .Most of the
advertisements
 manipulate
people
 and they
aimed
Add a missing verb
are aimed
show examples
 at children . The rate of fast-
food
 advertisement climbed significantly .
Moreover
 ,
food
advertisements
 can influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children to put pressure on parents to buy them junk
food
 and it can cause numerable problems in a long run for society
health
 .One effective way to resolve
this
 issue is that
advertisements
 should be regulated . unhealthy
food
 shouldn't be marketed in a way that
attract
Change the verb form
attracts
show examples
 children .
in addition
 . the
food
 that can be a risk to
health
 should display
nutrition
Replace the word
nutritional
show examples
 value . To conclude , even though indulging in fatty
food
 and advertisement contribute to obesity and
health
problem
 , governments can remedy the situation . In my opinion , informing
people
 about the consequences of indulging in fatty
food
 and regulating
advertisements
 are steps in the right direction.
Submitted by banan_reza on

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  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • processed food
  • fast food
  • nutritional education
  • calorie-dense
  • nutrient-poor
  • convenience
  • busy lifestyles
  • food deserts
  • marketing and advertising
  • food choices
  • cultural norms
  • food preparation
  • obesity
  • eating habits
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