At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, the population
in particular
countries contain a great number of youth
contrast
Change preposition
in contrast
show examples
with the number of older
people
. Personally, the advantages
such
as decreasing the rate of extinction and being productive outweigh insignificant disadvantages. I firmly believe that adolescents have a bearing
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by showing their capabilities and their inspiration to give
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
power to the
work
by their systematic effort.
Furthermore
, they have a sense of cooperation and collaboration,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
gives
a
Correct pronoun usage
them a
show examples
chance to be more productive, and the
work
.
In addition
, the rate of extinction will be declined significantly if the number of older
people
will relatively less compare to younger
ones
.
For example
, older
ones
are dying due to their illness or not being able to
looking
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look
show examples
after themselves.
Nonetheless
, older
people
also
have a crucial role in our society. As the
people
get older they become
more
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apply
show examples
wiser as soon as possible they tend to teach younger to study and
work
. They have experience
therefore
they know how to tackle problems or how to avoid obstacles. We can imagine the older
people
as a mechanism
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
contains a great deal of information, they can encourage us to move forward and vice versa.
For instance
, if we quiz them properly to implement the
work
or a plan they give
an advice
Remove the article
advice
a piece of advice
a bit of advice
show examples
which probably
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
successful. In conclusion, I assume that we ought to give a more chance to
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
younger
ones
to make
contribution
Add an article
a contribution
show examples
to our society, whereas by not forgetting absolutely about the older
ones
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
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