At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Nowadays, the population

in particular

countries contain a great number of youth

contrast

Change preposition

in contrast

show examples

with the number of older

people

. Personally, the advantages

such

as decreasing the rate of extinction and being productive outweigh insignificant disadvantages. I firmly believe that adolescents have a bearing

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society by showing their capabilities and their inspiration to give

Remove the article

apply

show examples

power to the

work

by their systematic effort.

Furthermore

, they have a sense of cooperation and collaboration,

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

gives

Correct pronoun usage

them a

show examples

chance to be more productive, and the

work

In addition

, the rate of extinction will be declined significantly if the number of older

people

will relatively less compare to younger

ones

For example

, older

ones

are dying due to their illness or not being able to

looking

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look

show examples

after themselves.

Nonetheless

, older

people

also

have a crucial role in our society. As the

people

get older they become

Change the word

apply

show examples

wiser as soon as possible they tend to teach younger to study and

work

. They have experience

therefore

they know how to tackle problems or how to avoid obstacles. We can imagine the older

people

as a mechanism

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

contains a great deal of information, they can encourage us to move forward and vice versa.

For instance

, if we quiz them properly to implement the

work

or a plan they give

an advice

Remove the article

advice

a piece of advice

a bit of advice

show examples

which probably

Change the verb form

show examples

Change the article

apply

show examples

successful. In conclusion, I assume that we ought to give a more chance to

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

younger

ones

to make

contribution

Add an article

a contribution

show examples

to our society, whereas by not forgetting absolutely about the older

ones

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think it’s better to choose friend s who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?