Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #advertisements #products #lives

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morden

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modern

societies, it become very common to be seen

about

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apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertisments

Correct your spelling

advertisements

. Some

people

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say that advertising

enourges

Correct your spelling

encourages

us to buy things that we really do not need, others claim that advertisements

spreads

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spread

show examples

the info that new

products

Use synonyms

may improve our lives.

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From

show examples

perspetive

Correct your spelling

perspective

, I agree that the advertising

encourage

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encourages

show examples

us to buy

stuffs

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stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

but not really need. To start with, The

aims

Fix the agreement mistake

aim

show examples

of the

advertisment

Correct your spelling

advertising

that

people

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see almost everywhere, including internet

platform

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platforms

show examples

,busses,

big

Correct word choice

and big

show examples

buildings, is

trying

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to tell individuals that their

products

Use synonyms

are the

lastest

Correct your spelling

latest

show examples

or the most advanced in their regions.

For instance

Linking Words

, Apple

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

, the head of the

smart phone

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smartphone

show examples

industry, Apple gave

the

Correct article usage

show examples

press conference , and

spreading

Wrong verb form

spread

show examples

the advertisement in most countries, on TV,billboards,

instant

Correct word choice

and instant

show examples

apps,resulting

the

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in the

show examples

explosure

Correct your spelling

exposure

of their newest product with some fancy and cool

Use synonyms

function

Fix the agreement mistake

functions

show examples

such

Linking Words

as high-resolution

camaras

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cameras

therefore

Linking Words

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation

are

Change the verb form

show examples

crazy for it, as they can make extreme nice photos and post to instant apps for sharing with others.

However

Linking Words

, the

smart phone's

Correct your spelling

smartphone's

show examples

basic

function

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is never changes

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is never changed

is never changing

show examples

, for making

call

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calls

show examples

and

use

Wrong verb form

using

show examples

some applications both

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show examples

private life and

work

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at work

show examples

Hence

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, I personally agree that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some of the

ads

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overweigh their own

products

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function

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for persuading

people

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to follow on .

moreover

Linking Words

, there are many similar

products

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called healthy manager

watch

Correct subject-verb agreement

watches

show examples

such

Linking Words

fitbit

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Fitbit

show examples

the

Correct article usage

whose

show examples

function

Use synonyms

is monitoring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fitness,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

sleeping time,etc. the

compaines

Correct your spelling

companies

also

Linking Words

invest in

ads

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to tell

people

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can

promot

Correct your spelling

promote

their

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

by using

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

However

Linking Words

, individuals can

regualrely

Correct your spelling

regularly

visit their doctors

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

body

check

Correct subject-verb agreement

checks

show examples

and get

much

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

professional medical advice.

Consequently

Linking Words

improving

Wrong verb form

they improve

show examples

their own

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

under medical advice without having

this

Linking Words

fitbit

Change the capitalization

Fitbit

show examples

watch.

To conclude

Linking Words

, There are some advantages of advertising, that can tell

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society what's new recently. But I believe the final goal of

ads

Use synonyms

is only

expolure

Verb problem

to expand

show examples

their

products

Use synonyms

and increase the selling numbers to boost the company's profit.

People

Use synonyms

are buying some

products

Use synonyms

Change preposition

due to

show examples

ads

Use synonyms

' influence but not really

need

Wrong verb form

needed

show examples

Submitted by fenping.shen on Sun Feb 20 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more clearly and make sure to include a clear introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

Ensure that you fully address the prompt and provide a clear opinion supported by relevant examples.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
persuade
manipulative
unnecessary
excessive
artificial needs
desires
consumers
oversaturation
impulse buying
financial problems
inform
educate
features
benefits
innovations
raise awareness
social issues
positive behavior
enrich
well-being

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