In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In some communities, the number of advertisements

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

try to persuade kids to purchase different

merchandises

Fix the agreement mistake

merchandise

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like snacks and toys

has

Change the verb form

have

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been peaked.

On the other hand

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

reckon that they are not fair. Personally, I am an advocate of

parents

Use synonyms

opinion

Fix the agreement mistake

opinions

show examples

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will outline both ideas and would like to

further

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explain my point of view.

Firstly

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, it is completely clear that these various ads have been conducted by companies for earning a plethora of money. They know that they can affect

Change preposition

apply

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children to force their

parents

Use synonyms

to buy them their products.

Although

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, in my opinion, it is not a correct way for selling their items, it has some advantages.

For example

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, a survey which has been conducted by researchers

Remove the comma

apply

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illustrates that

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

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who play lego in their childhood will become more creative in the future.

As a result

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this

Linking Words

creativity can help them to act better than others when they start to work.

Furthermore

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, there are mothers and fathers who refuse to agree with these ads. Because when babies like a particular thing, they want it as soon as possible. But, it can have many disadvantages.

For instance

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, some

parents

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for a good upbringing don't buy them anything they want. Some kids start to yell and cry.

Also

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, it might cause ruining the relationship between

parents

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and children. To sum up, everything that has been stated so far, I think governments should lower the number of advertisements.

Parents

Use synonyms

should have the opportunities to supply their babies with items that they prefer.

aylarsheikholeslamiSun Feb 20 2022

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People have differing views with regard to the question of how to make our roads safer. In my view, both punishments and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits.

Many developed countries are helping poor countries in the world.Some people insist financial aid cannot boost their economy alone.To what extent do you agree with this statement.

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Public library should provide books and not waste their limited resources on expensive high-tech media such as software, applications, videos or DVDs. Do you agree or disagree?