IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #activities #mountain #risk #lives #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern world, there are things which develop and diversify the needs and whats of
people
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will elicit why
people
Use synonyms
 engage themselves in extreme sports and activities risking their own lives just to be in trend. The possible atrocious side of
people
Use synonyms
 engaging with
this
Linking Words
 type of activity
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
 because of the modern famous term of YOLO or you only live once. Normally young generations today are much fierce and dare-devil on kinds of stuff they want to
experience
Use synonyms
. Living with the thread is almost the number one focus of
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays. As peer pressure and social media influence can greatly push
people
Use synonyms
 to do
this
Linking Words
 as most
people
Use synonyms
 want something they can post and boast about on social media platforms. Another is the common persona of
people
Use synonyms
 to be risk-takers. As a common saying,
people
Use synonyms
 often do not forecast two major things, accident, and death.
Hence
Linking Words
 when
people
Use synonyms
 what to
experience
Use synonyms
 the thrill, they often forget the counterpart of it. They often forgot the rules, consequences, and aftermath of things, they want to
experience
Use synonyms
 and will do to others. During the
experience
Use synonyms
, they forget to be vigilant and persistent in taking control, as it will come with great
experience
Use synonyms
, practice, and determination. One good example of
this
Linking Words
 is scuba diving in areas where you are not well experienced with the trail because it is famous in that area or diving spot. We are not judging their choices
however
Linking Words
 if they engaged in careful planning and training, accidents and death could be greatly prevented. All in all, it boils down to the person's perspective of what danger is. At the end of the day, our choices and decisions will always have a counter reactive
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of future lives.
Submitted by cmptrkat on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adrenaline rush
  • Thrill-seeking
  • Personal growth
  • Accomplishment
  • Resilience
  • Risk management
  • Social recognition
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Endorphins
  • Fatality
  • Risk assessment
  • Cultural phenomenon
  • Recklessness
  • Safety precautions
  • Extreme sports
What to do next:
Look at other essays: