In some countries, birth rates are falling and experts say that by 2050 these countries will have far more adults aged 65 and over than children under 15. What problem might this cause in the future? Can anything be done to solve this issue?

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It is predicted that, by 2050, the percentage of the
population
aged 65 or older will have risen significantly in some places.
This
is likely to cause problems for the countries concerned, and finding a solution will not be easy. There are several problems caused by an ageing
population
.
Firstly
, as most people retire in their 60s,
this
means that fewer people will be working, and
therefore
fewer people will be paying income tax. With insufficient
taxes
to draw on, the governments of these countries will struggle to provide essential services unless they increase
taxes
significantly. Because of
this
, the biggest impact is likely to be felt by the shrinking proportion of the
population
,
that is
, those aged 15 and younger. When they become adults, they will need to work much harder to support the growing number of elderly
as well as
paying
Wrong verb form
pay
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higher
taxes
. In fact, many may decide to leave these countries altogether, which is likely to exacerbate the problem and increase the decline.
Thus
, the consequences of an ageing
population
will be
far reaching
Add a hyphen
far-reaching
show examples
. When it comes to finding a solution, changes need to be made now. To increase the number of children being born, financial incentives could be offered to families to encourage them to have more children or to move to the area, thereby creating more balance within the
population
. Until
this
happens, the retirement age could be raised, which would provide more
taxes
for longer and so postpone many of these issues.
However
, in order for
this
plan to work, governments are
also
going to have to make sure that
this
older generation remains healthy and fit enough to continue working. Clearly, everyone will need to make changes to achieve an effective solution. In conclusion, when a
population
ages the effects are felt by everyone and the situation worsens if nothing is done about it. In my view, there are several possible solutions, but these involve acting quickly in the present.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear overall progression and structure, with an introduction and conclusion effectively framing the discourse. However, continue to develop transitions between ideas to enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
You have adequately addressed the task by outlining the potential problems of an ageing population and offering solutions. Nevertheless, consider expanding upon your solutions with more specificity and illustrative examples to fully satisfy the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Demographic shifts
  • Dependent population
  • Population pyramid
  • Healthcare provision
  • Pension schemes
  • Labor force
  • Economic sustainability
  • Generational equity
  • Immigration policies
  • Fertility incentives
  • Retirement reforms
  • Life expectancy
  • Workforce participation
  • Social security
  • Aging population
  • Birth rates
  • Technological innovation
  • Automated workforce
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