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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some cultures, the old age is more valued, while in some cultures the youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#cultures #age #youth
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As it is commonly believed older
people
Use synonyms
 have more influence in society whereas at other cultures
this
Linking Words
 role is given for youngsters. Despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that young
people
Use synonyms
 are our future for whom there must be some special
execuses
Correct your spelling
excuses
exercises
, I personally believe that old
people
Use synonyms
 are those for whom we need to show respect. The following essay will examine both points. Recently, it was identified that teenagers tend to be more valued than
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 part of society.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 statement is not true for every culture. As an
illustration
Add a comma
,illustration
show examples
 we can analyze Japanese culture where older
people
Use synonyms
 are highly respected for what they have done in the past and
for giving
Correct your spelling
forgiving
show examples
wise
Correct article usage
a wise
show examples
 approach
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation. All the words that were spoken by
eldest
Add an article
the eldest
show examples
 member of
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 is a law, which is explained by the colossal package of experience.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 part of humanity is different cultures has constantly been
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
hope for our future. As a rule, in the imagination of
young
Correct article usage
a young
show examples
person
Add a comma
,person
show examples
 there can be distinct uncommon ideas
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
assists
Change the verb form
assist
show examples
 humanity in development.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science fiction
films
Add a comma
,films
show examples
 we were hearing
a lines
Correct the article-noun agreement
a line
lines
show examples
 that were referred to
sabving
Correct your spelling
saving
having
 a baby or
teenagers
Fix the agreement mistake
teenager
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 would have been done for the sake of
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
 where young individuals could adapt and evolve. To sum it up, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is preferable to value older
people
Use synonyms
 more than younger
people
Use synonyms
,
besites
Correct your spelling
besides
websites
, we have to be grateful for what they have done in the past so that we could live in peaceful conditions. In the
next
Linking Words
decades
Add a comma
,decades
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement will probably alter as with the growth of culture morale,
mindset
Add an article
the mindset
a mindset
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 will be changed.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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