IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, more people are choosing to socialize online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #face #development
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In Human life, an individual has the
quidity
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quality
liquidity
 of being alone and due to the advent of technology, most people
preferres
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preferred
prefers
 to socialize online rather
seeing
Change preposition
than seeing
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 a person physically.
An
Correct article usage
apply
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I believed that
this
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 is a positive development. My explanation will be followed
on
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in
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 the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, persons might save substantial monetary
fund
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funds
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 due to the fact that they will speak to their
acquintances
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acquaintances
 through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, in a way that they could have the opportunity in chit-chatting and cracks some jokes; virtual
celebrationan
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celebration
 is an exemplar to
this
Linking Words
, they could have a successful event thru zoom application,
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consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
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 they will not be contracted with
corona virus
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coronavirus
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.
In addition
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, they will not put themselves in trouble with
regards
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regard
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 to health issues.
On the other hand
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, our countryfolks will be inclined with the usage of updated technology,
for instance
Linking Words
 utilizing computers and mobile phone in interacting to the colleagues; apart from that they will have a profound knowledge with different social platforms that they could maximize the usage.
As a result
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, they became tech
savy
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savvy
 and will
definitey
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definitely
 belong to the society wherein
majority
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the majority
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 of people are having a whale of a time in
enjoyment
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the enjoyment
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 of new technology.
Moreover
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, youngsters will be
more safe
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safer
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 and
secured
Wrong verb form
secure
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 because they will stay at home and have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 total connection with
theitr
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their
 classmates while using social platforms like
facebook
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Facebook
show examples
 messenger to conduct a study group. Inasmuch as, they will be under the maximum tutelage of their parents, due to
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 fact that they are
physcially
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physically
 present at home most of the time. And parents will be more delighted because
tehy
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they
 have ample bonding time with their children. In summary,
positive
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the positive
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developmet
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development
 of socializing online has a great impact
to
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on
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 all human
being
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beings
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 since they could be more productive, more safe and
secured
Wrong verb form
secure
show examples
, and they will save more money while staying at home.
Submitted by maymosqueda on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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