Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #age #groups #information #websites #risks

Using social

media

as a means of connecting with others and the world is more and more prevalent. Since most

Change preposition

apply

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social

media

websites require users’ personal

information

for registration and using their services, people are facing a certain degree of risks.

Although

it would bring drawback to doing so, I believe that using social

media

have more benefits.

To begin

with the disadvantage, the risk of giving personal

information

to social

media

websites is identity theft. Most of these social

media

have a membership scheme and require people to provide personal

information

such

as name, address, identity numbers and even bank account

information

, in order to join their membership scheme.

However

, if the website does not have a sophisticated security system, hackers may easily steal our

information

for illegal activities,

such

as borrowing money from a bank on our behalf. We may

then

face financial loss and legal troubles. Other than the drawback mentioned above, we have some advantages from surfing on social

media

Firstly

, we can maintain contact with our friends and family members, even we are living in different parts of the world. The geographical boundaries are eliminated.

Furthermore

, we can make new friends with the same interests and extend our social circles through the internet. It enhances our social life and emotional well-being.

Lastly

information

, entertainment and news can be obtained instantly and easily from social

media

. We can keep updating on current issues.

Therefore

, social

media

makes our life more convenient and allows us to connect with others without boundaries. In conclusion, even though we face the risks of identity theft, our lives are enriched and social connections would be more well-developed. I argue that the benefits of using social

media

outweigh its drawback.

Submitted by dfshum on Tue Feb 22 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Social media is becoming increasingly popular amongst all age groups. However, sharing personal information on social media websites does have risks. Do you think that the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?

You have read a magasine article that mentionned a place you are familiar with There was a mistake in the article. Write a letter to the editor of the magasine and say what error was explain that you are familiar with the place wgy it is omportant to correct the error