IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #environment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is true that the
government
Use synonyms
 spend a lot of financial resources
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 medical
research
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of environment
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
research
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I am of the opinion that
environment
Use synonyms
research
Use synonyms
 should
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 paid more than medical
research
Use synonyms
 and I try to explain my opinion in my essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, both of the researches depend on each other and if the plant in over
environment
Use synonyms
die
Change the verb form
dies
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 there will not creep from medical
research
Use synonyms
 because the most of
medicine
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is prepare
show examples
prepare
Change the form of the verb
prepared
show examples
 from plants.
Secondly
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
it is consequences
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if we harm the
environment
Use synonyms
 consequence will be very bad because
chain
Add an article
the chain
a chain
show examples
 of life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
Use synonyms
 depends on
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and if the
environment
Use synonyms
 will be harmed all alive creatures will die.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, if the
environment
Use synonyms
 will be harmed or destroyed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
Use synonyms
 cataclysms will begin
for instance
Linking Words
 earthquakes,
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
 will
burns
Change the verb form
burn
show examples
 our
planet
Use synonyms
, extinction of life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
Use synonyms
. We
also
Linking Words
 should protect our
environment
Use synonyms
 by planting trees, throwing trash in the trash cans and doing everything in our power.
However
Linking Words
,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
 should more allocate funds but
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should donate for medical
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 because in 21 century we have a lot of diseases and for
healing
Add a comma
,healing
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 diseases
government
Use synonyms
 should spend money for the development of
medicine
Use synonyms
for example
Linking Words
 if
medicine
Use synonyms
 does not develop, humanity will have big problems in the face of cancer, HIV infection, diabetes mellitus and especially COVID-19. To avoid these problems the
government
Use synonyms
 should develop
medicine
Use synonyms
. To conclude, I would
stay
Correct your spelling
say
show examples
 that the
government
Use synonyms
 should donate more to
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
research
Use synonyms
 than medical
research
Use synonyms
 but
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should not forget about medical development.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: