IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Many companies sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think that it is good thing, while others think that it has disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#companies #sponsor #sports #people
There are several ways to promote products, especially advertising in
sports
 events. It has been argued that advertising by the association on the
sports
 event can lead to a positive development, while others believe it can bring drawbacks. I personally think that it is
such
 a great invention to take athletes as an endorsement. In these forthcoming paragraphs, both views will be elucidated.
To begin
 with, it is lucrative to situate an advertisement for a competition
such
 as
sports
.
In other words
, it can attract viewers of the match to buy the product while watching the contest. It,
moreover
, can be beneficial for the athlete since they can be funded by the party.
Therefore
, they do not have any financial problem to compete in the event, as the race,
for example
, is a costly occasion which the manager of racers has to collaborate with the corporation to gain sponsorships.
On the other hand
, it
also
 can lead to a negative development. The indulgence of big companies in
sports
 events may manage the process of the game. In Indonesia,
for instance
, football clubs that are supported by wealthy corporations may be cheated, since money can manage all the regulations of the championship.
Hence
, it decreases the viewer's interest in the sport, resulting in unbelievable athlete's skill. It,
in addition
, will be impacted the player's career, if they want to move from one to another club. In conclusion,
although
 the big companies give some benefits for supporting the athletes, I firmly believe that the intervention of corporations in the competition may result in an uninteresting clash.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sports sponsorship
  • financial support
  • athletes
  • brand visibility
  • awareness
  • commercialization
  • integrity
  • dependencies
  • corporate funds
  • unethical practices
  • strategic partnerships
  • communal relations
  • promote healthy lifestyles
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