IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People aim to keep a balance between their work and other parts of their lives, but few people achieve it. What are the problems of trying to achieve this goal and how can these problems be overcome?

#people #aim #balance #work #parts #lives
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Today's generation
people
Use synonyms
 are after money ,education and so on. Humans find it difficult to cope
time
Use synonyms
 with their families,friends and to follow their passion. In order to achieve these ,goals there are various methods is discussed in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
,due to ,
occuption
Correct your spelling
occupation
 both genders have problems spending
time
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.Having a certain plan like, a timetable for children should be planned among adults,so they can find the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
time
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.
Although
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 many tasks
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 given in
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 ,
time
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 plays an important role in solving them. If they are complete it at
Use synonyms
time
Add an article
a time
show examples
 can relax and enjoy their weekend at home.
For instance
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,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
employeer
Correct your spelling
employer
employee
 have to
sumbit
Correct your spelling
submit
 his or her
work
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 to the boss on
time
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 ,
were
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where
show examples
 a moment of
work
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 stress is lowered.
Also
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, the head of the company should check after the staff and survey how is
their
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there
show examples
 going
such
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 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
stressful
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
,tensed and so on.
Secondly
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,
people
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 are lazy to engage
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 activities. Their mindset
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 changed
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 of the
enchancement
Correct your spelling
enhancement
 of technologies.
People
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 are
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 about their health can lead to diseases
such
Linking Words
obiesty
Correct your spelling
obesity
,cardiovascular problems. After the incident
people
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 mainly concentrated on overcoming
these situation
Change the determiner
this situation
these situations
show examples
. "Prevention is better than cure" so enrolling in yoga , gym and health programmes helps to
socialies
Correct your spelling
socialise
socialises
 with others.The
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should restrict workers from their company after the duty
time
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.
For instance
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, in a survey
happen
Correct pronoun usage
that happen
show examples
 around the globe Indian
people
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work
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 more than they expect for a low income.
This
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practise
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practice
show examples
 should be avoided and should be fined. In conclusion,
people
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 should find
time
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 to
social
Replace the word
socialize
show examples
 with their families friends as it
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
matter of communication and
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
 should not
encourgage
Correct your spelling
encourage
 employees to
work
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 more.
Hence
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 these are some factors
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 give some
time
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 for the
people
Use synonyms
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • flexible work arrangements
  • remote work
  • unplug
  • boundaries
  • workplace culture
  • societal pressure
  • stress management
  • time management
What to do next:
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