IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often said that the most significant factor in human life is occupation. It is a common belief that habitually claims ,without a job that satisfies human beings people can not find a specific meaning for their lives. From my point of view ,I completely agree with the idea that
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work

It seems that works may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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 necessary.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,one of the main reasons for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 argument is the powerful impacts of jobs on people's lifestyles.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,in most developed countries all around the world where the population can find suitable opportunities to find an occupation ,it is obvious that people feel regularly
self-confidence
Replace the word
self-confident

The word self-confidence doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 and they announce that they are satisfied. It means appropriate works are the key to happiness and other feelings that humans have
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as positive emotions
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of working in a luxury hotel.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,it makes it clear why the most indispensable component in our lives is careers.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,another reason is the positive transformations that are related to having an occupation.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,we all know the population who have their own works are habitually
well_being
Correct your spelling
well-being

If you don’t want well_being to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 having a specific programme to perform their responsibilities.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,there is no denying that when humans decide to follow some roles that have multiple advantages ,becoming successful will be
fulfiled
Correct your spelling
fulfilled

If you don’t want fulfiled to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. All these things pertain to having a suitable job that we are interested in.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 ,it becomes apparent there are numerous reasons behind each claim that we can not ignore. All things considered ,I strongly agree with that idea. I
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 believe that communities should consider it as a crucial element. It is predicted that to continue reflecting on
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essential item we will have a better world to live in ,in the near future.

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, work on having clear topic sentences and seamless transitions between paragraphs. This will ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
In terms of task response, make sure every main point is extended and supported with relevant examples. This will add more depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened by more clearly restating your position and summarizing the main points discussed in the body.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, and the overall structure is effective with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with relevant examples, which helps in making your argument more persuasive.
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