The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often said that the most significant factor in human life is occupation. It is a common belief that habitually claims ,without a job that satisfies human beings people can not find a specific meaning for their lives. From my point of view ,I completely agree with the idea that
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
are
necessary.
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Firstly
,one of the main reasons for this
argument is the powerful impacts of jobs on people's lifestyles. For example
,in most developed countries all around the world where the population can find suitable opportunities to find an occupation ,it is obvious that people feel regularly self-confidence
and they announce that they are satisfied. It means appropriate works are the key to happiness and other feelings that humans have Replace the word
self-confident
such
as positive emotions as a result
of working in a luxury hotel. Therefore
,it makes it clear why the most indispensable component in our lives is careers.
Secondly
,another reason is the positive transformations that are related to having an occupation. For instance
,we all know the population who have their own works are habitually well_being
Correct your spelling
well-being
as well as
having a specific programme to perform their responsibilities. Additionally
,there is no denying that when humans decide to follow some roles that have multiple advantages ,becoming successful will be fulfiled
. All these things pertain to having a suitable job that we are interested in. Correct your spelling
fulfilled
As a result
,it becomes apparent there are numerous reasons behind each claim that we can not ignore.
All things considered ,I strongly agree with that idea. I also
believe that communities should consider it as a crucial element. It is predicted that to continue reflecting on this
essential item we will have a better world to live in ,in the near future.Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, work on having clear topic sentences and seamless transitions between paragraphs. This will ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
In terms of task response, make sure every main point is extended and supported with relevant examples. This will add more depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened by more clearly restating your position and summarizing the main points discussed in the body.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, and the overall structure is effective with an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with relevant examples, which helps in making your argument more persuasive.