The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is often said that the most significant factor in human life is occupation. It is a common belief that habitually claims ,without a job that satisfies human beings people can not find a specific meaning for their lives. From my point of view ,I completely agree with the idea that

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

necessary.

Firstly

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,one of the main reasons for

this

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argument is the powerful impacts of jobs on people's lifestyles.

For example

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,in most developed countries all around the world where the population can find suitable opportunities to find an occupation ,it is obvious that people feel regularly

self-confidence

Replace the word

self-confident

show examples

and they announce that they are satisfied. It means appropriate works are the key to happiness and other feelings that humans have

such

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as positive emotions

as a result

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of working in a luxury hotel.

Therefore

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,it makes it clear why the most indispensable component in our lives is careers.

Secondly

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,another reason is the positive transformations that are related to having an occupation.

For instance

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,we all know the population who have their own works are habitually

well_being

Correct your spelling

well-being

as well as

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having a specific programme to perform their responsibilities.

Additionally

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,there is no denying that when humans decide to follow some roles that have multiple advantages ,becoming successful will be

fulfiled

Correct your spelling

fulfilled

. All these things pertain to having a suitable job that we are interested in.

As a result

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,it becomes apparent there are numerous reasons behind each claim that we can not ignore. All things considered ,I strongly agree with that idea. I

also

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believe that communities should consider it as a crucial element. It is predicted that to continue reflecting on

this

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essential item we will have a better world to live in ,in the near future.

Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on Wed Feb 23 2022

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coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, work on having clear topic sentences and seamless transitions between paragraphs. This will ensure a smoother flow of ideas.

task achievement

In terms of task response, make sure every main point is extended and supported with relevant examples. This will add more depth to your essay.

coherence cohesion

While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be strengthened by more clearly restating your position and summarizing the main points discussed in the body.

task achievement

Your essay provides a clear response to the task, and the overall structure is effective with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The main points are supported with relevant examples, which helps in making your argument more persuasive.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Young people are often influenced by their peers. Do the advantages of peer pressure outweigh the disadvantages.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that Olympics games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many cities an increaing number of people do not knowtheir neighbours and there is a lack of sense of community. What are the causes of this problem? How can it be solved?

Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time.