Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today’s world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
believe that current medical
problems
and diseases are because of the lifestyle without any physical activities. While
,
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apply
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others believe that it is due to other reasons. I entirely agree with
this
suggestion that our
health
problems
are because of our immovable lifestyle.
However
, it is irrefutable that many more dangerous
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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can
also
threat
Replace the word
threaten
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our
health
. In the following paragraphs, I intend to outline the arguments of both sides.
To begin
with, we cannot ignore the effect of
fast
Correct article usage
the fast
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development of technology on our lifestyles. Technology makes
people
feel more comfortable and helps them to do anything without moving. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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modern
society
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,society
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advanced gadgets and devices are very popular.
Consequently
,
people
will be less active and slowly stop working and even exercising.
This
will lead to dangerous physical and mental
health
issues.
For instance
, you can shop from supermarkets and mini famous stores like Nike, Adidas and
such
like
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apply
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online nowadays. But, about a decade ago
people
had to go to stores to shop
Correct your spelling
whatever
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what ever
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whatever
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they need and
this
cause
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caused
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physical activities to get there. In the current
society
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,society
show examples
you can buy anything you need with just a couple of clicks on your computer.
On the other hand
, there are other
problems
that caused
health
issues for humans.
For example
, The environment has been polluted with a lot of things especially the air that we breathe. The air is polluted with toxic gases and air pollution is one of the biggest obstacles that governments are facing today.
Furthermore
, having a bad diet can rise of the risk of heart strokes massively. Eating too much fast food will enhance the amount of cholesterol in the blood and it could be deadly if you don’t prevent
this
habit. After having considered the affirmation paragraphs in some depth, I have concluded that
although
our medical
problems
nowadays are mainly because of our steady lifestyle, there are other
problems
that we can not overlook.
Submitted by sia_21gr on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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