It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? To what extend do you agree or disagreewith this opinion?

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It is crucial for

children

Use synonyms

to take up the differences between right and wrong from an early age and we have to punish them to assist them learn

this

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distinction. I strongly disagree with

this

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statement and I will explain in the following paragraphs.

To begin

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with, understanding the differences between right and wrong plays a vital role in personal growth from an early age. The

children

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who are aware of the consequences of the bad things are less likely to make mistakes.

Furthermore

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children

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who are oblivious to bad things are more likely to suffer from health and mental issues in the long run.

Therefore

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, their parents and teachers in schools should raise public awareness about the consequences of making a mistake.

As a result

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, if the

children

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do not care about

this

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, their families and teachers should discourage them.

On the other hand

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, we can impose some rules for

children

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which they cannot make issues.

For example

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, shutting down public areas

such

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as schools, libraries, and hospitals should be banned for them so as to prevent

this

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behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

In addition

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, adults can serve as powerful role models by demonstrating good

behavior

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behaviour

show examples

, empathy, and problem-solving skills in their interactions with others.

consequently

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children

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often learn by observing and imitating adults. Teaching

children

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problem-solving skills empowers them to find constructive solutions. We should encourage them to brainstorm solutions, consider consequences, and evaluate their choices.

To conclude

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, I would restate my vista, Parents can benefit from attending parenting classes or seeking guidance from trusted resources

such

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as books, and websites to learn effective techniques and strategies for promoting positive behavior.

marzie.ghasemi98Wed May 08 2024

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Clarity & Position

Ensure a clear stance throughout the essay. Your introductory paragraph ambiguously suggests disagreement but does not clearly outline the reasons for this stance.

Supporting Examples

Expand on examples to better support your arguments. For instance, when mentioning the prohibition of children from public areas, clarify how this relates to learning right from wrong.

Cohesion

Work on paragraph transitions to make the flow of ideas smoother. Phrases that link ideas or arguments can enhance coherence.

Introduction & Conclusion

Consider refining your introduction and conclusion for a stronger opening and closing statement that more directly addresses the question and summarizes your argument.

Vocabulary

Be mindful of repetition and try to vary your vocabulary more. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

Content Understanding

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, and you present a reasoned argument against punishment as a means of teaching right from wrong.

Structure

You have a good structure with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.

Use of Examples

You’ve successfully used examples, although they could be developed further, to support your arguments.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

269 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

instilling
moral values
discipline
verbal warnings
time-outs
constructive methods
positive reinforcement
reward systems
psychological effects
foster
resentment
modeling
physical punishment
emotional well-being
balance
understanding
long term effects

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