It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? To what extend do you agree or disagreewith this opinion?

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It is crucial for
children
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to take up the differences between right and wrong from an early age and we have to punish them to assist them learn
this
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distinction. I strongly disagree with
this
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statement and I will explain in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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with, understanding the differences between right and wrong plays a vital role in personal growth from an early age. The
children
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who are aware of the consequences of the bad things are less likely to make mistakes.
Furthermore
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,
children
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who are oblivious to bad things are more likely to suffer from health and mental issues in the long run.
Therefore
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, their parents and teachers in schools should raise public awareness about the consequences of making a mistake.
As a result
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, if the
children
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do not care about
this
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, their families and teachers should discourage them.
On the other hand
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, we can impose some rules for
children
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which they cannot make issues.
For example
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, shutting down public areas
such
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as schools, libraries, and hospitals should be banned for them so as to prevent
this
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behavior
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behaviour
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.
In addition
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, adults can serve as powerful role models by demonstrating good
behavior
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behaviour
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, empathy, and problem-solving skills in their interactions with others.
consequently
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,
children
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often learn by observing and imitating adults. Teaching
children
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problem-solving skills empowers them to find constructive solutions. We should encourage them to brainstorm solutions, consider consequences, and evaluate their choices.
To conclude
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, I would restate my vista, Parents can benefit from attending parenting classes or seeking guidance from trusted resources
such
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as books, and websites to learn effective techniques and strategies for promoting positive behavior.
Submitted by marzie.ghasemi98 on

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Clarity & Position
Ensure a clear stance throughout the essay. Your introductory paragraph ambiguously suggests disagreement but does not clearly outline the reasons for this stance.
Supporting Examples
Expand on examples to better support your arguments. For instance, when mentioning the prohibition of children from public areas, clarify how this relates to learning right from wrong.
Cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions to make the flow of ideas smoother. Phrases that link ideas or arguments can enhance coherence.
Introduction & Conclusion
Consider refining your introduction and conclusion for a stronger opening and closing statement that more directly addresses the question and summarizes your argument.
Vocabulary
Be mindful of repetition and try to vary your vocabulary more. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Content Understanding
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, and you present a reasoned argument against punishment as a means of teaching right from wrong.
Structure
You have a good structure with a clear introduction, development of ideas, and a conclusion.
Use of Examples
You’ve successfully used examples, although they could be developed further, to support your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • instilling
  • moral values
  • discipline
  • verbal warnings
  • time-outs
  • constructive methods
  • positive reinforcement
  • reward systems
  • psychological effects
  • foster
  • resentment
  • modeling
  • physical punishment
  • emotional well-being
  • balance
  • understanding
  • long term effects
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