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Band 7

The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#element #person’s #life #work #career
Some people think that
life
 will be worthless without a satisfying career and see jobs as the most important element.
However
, I agree with
this
 idea to a little extent. In my perspective, happiness is more important than work and the reason for living or being alive is more meaningful.
Firstly
, happiness is more crucial than work. job is for survival, is to earn enough money in order to support the family, to support the daily spending. Many
community
Change to a plural noun
communities
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 are suffering from
Add an article
the
show examples
heavy
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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. But
life
 is not only about working, but it is
also
 more about enjoyment and belongings. Other elements
such
 as family, hobbies or amusement can fill in the livelihood and bring more happiness and colour the
life
.
On the other hand
,
life
 can be meaningless without a satisfying career. As working is an action, it does not contain feelings or results. A person can not enjoy his
life
 unless he understands what does he effort for or the purpose of working.
For example
, somebody works for money while others work for their dream, it may be hard for an artist to acts as a businessman.
Therefore
, jobs out of position could cool down the passion and interest and without those passion,
soul
Add an article
the soul
a soul
show examples
 can be dim and hopeless. In conclusion,
job
Add an article
the job
a job
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 is not the only part of living but a satisfying career can let
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 be more passionate. In my opinion, enjoying
life
 is the most significant reason for being alive and society can have an easier
life
 with the aim.
Last
 but not least,
life
 can be more meaningful and interesting by combining variable components.
Submitted by hhhhelen.poon on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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