Many people today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life. What are the causes of this situation, and what can individuals and employers do to reduce the problem? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #balance #demands #work #life #situation #individuals #employers

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Music

probable

Replace the word

probably

show examples

one thing

could

Correct pronoun usage

that could

show examples

merge

people

in various cultures and

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

together. From my point of view, I strongly agree with

this

statement and I will give reasons in

this

essay below. Regarding the

first

, there is no boundary for

music

, simply because,

music

or performing all over the world show

big

Add an article

a big

the big

show examples

range of

music

style

Fix the agreement mistake

styles

show examples

which

rely

Change the verb form

relies

show examples

on culture, location or language.

However

everyone

able

Add a missing verb

is able

show examples

to enjoy the beauty of

music

from melody, rhythm without language knowledge.

For example

Change the pronoun

show examples

and my friends love listening

Japanese

Change preposition

to Japanese

show examples

song

from manga, a cartoon in Japanese style, even we do not understand the meaning but we

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

happy and dance while listening to the

song

which

impact

Change the verb form

impacts

show examples

our feeling.  According to

this

idea, another best example is

everyone

sing

Wrong verb form

singing

show examples

‘Happy

Correct article usage

the ‘Happy

show examples

Birthday’

Correct your spelling

Birthday

show examples

song

in birthday before

Add an article

the blow

show examples

blow

Wrong verb form

blowing

show examples

the candle. Even though

people

from different countries

are not speak

Change the verb form

do not speak

show examples

only

Change preposition

apply

show examples

English but

this

song

brings

everyone

to celebrate a birthday party. Another reason I hold

this

view,

music

is similar to fashion. Some

one-hit wonder

Add a hyphen

one-hit-wonder

show examples

songs are still on

air

Add an article

the air

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

radio

Correct article usage

the radio

show examples

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

also

launches in remastered or covered version.

People

in different generations enjoy the same

song

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

of time.

For instance

, The Beatles, an English rock band which

popular

Add a missing verb

was popular

show examples

70’s

Fix apostrophe usage

’70s

show examples

, I happy to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

their whole album all day and sing along with my parent, as they are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

big fans of The Beatles when they are a teenager. In conclusion, I definitely believe that the variety of

music

is valuable for

everyone

, no matter where there are in the corner of the world or which age they are, young, mature or elder. The majority of

people

understand and enjoy

music

which is a universal interesting art piece from their experience.

Music

connects

people

together.

Submitted by mayokz.chalita on Thu Feb 24 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Students should pay their full cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every yong person how to be a good parent Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent

the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Countries with long working days are more successful economically, but there are some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern professional women confront a difficulty that men don’t generally face: the struggle to balance the pressures of work and home. In your opinion, how can this difficulty best be ? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own knowledge or experiences.