Many people today find it difficult to balance the demands of their work and personal life. What are the causes of this situation, and what can individuals and employers do to reduce the problem? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#people #balance #demands #work #life #situation #individuals #employers

Music

probable

Replace the word

probably

show examples

one thing

could

Correct pronoun usage

that could

show examples

merge

people

in various cultures and

generation

Fix the agreement mistake

generations

show examples

together. From my point of view, I strongly agree with

this

statement and I will give reasons in

this

essay below. Regarding the

first

, there is no boundary for

music

, simply because,

music

or performing all over the world show

big

Add an article

a big

the big

show examples

range of

music

style

Fix the agreement mistake

styles

show examples

which

rely

Change the verb form

relies

show examples

on culture, location or language.

However

everyone

able

Add a missing verb

is able

show examples

to enjoy the beauty of

music

from melody, rhythm without language knowledge.

For example

Change the pronoun

show examples

and my friends love listening

Japanese

Change preposition

to Japanese

show examples

song

from manga, a cartoon in Japanese style, even we do not understand the meaning but we

still

Add a missing verb

are still

show examples

happy and dance while listening to the

song

which

impact

Change the verb form

impacts

show examples

our feeling.  According to

this

idea, another best example is

everyone

sing

Wrong verb form

singing

show examples

‘Happy

Correct article usage

the ‘Happy

show examples

Birthday’

Correct your spelling

Birthday

show examples

song

in birthday before

Add an article

the blow

show examples

blow

Wrong verb form

blowing

show examples

the candle. Even though

people

from different countries

are not speak

Change the verb form

do not speak

show examples

only

Change preposition

apply

show examples

English but

this

song

brings

everyone

to celebrate a birthday party. Another reason I hold

this

view,

music

is similar to fashion. Some

one-hit wonder

Add a hyphen

one-hit-wonder

show examples

songs are still on

air

Add an article

the air

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

radio

Correct article usage

the radio

show examples

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

also

launches in remastered or covered version.

People

in different generations enjoy the same

song

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different

period

Fix the agreement mistake

periods

show examples

of time.

For instance

, The Beatles, an English rock band which

popular

Add a missing verb

was popular

show examples

70’s

Fix apostrophe usage

’70s

show examples

, I happy to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

their whole album all day and sing along with my parent, as they are

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

big fans of The Beatles when they are a teenager. In conclusion, I definitely believe that the variety of

music

is valuable for

everyone

, no matter where there are in the corner of the world or which age they are, young, mature or elder. The majority of

people

understand and enjoy

music

which is a universal interesting art piece from their experience.

Music

connects

people

together.

Submitted by mayokz.chalita on Thu Feb 24 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.
Many people guess repairing old buildings is extremely expensive and can cause spending too much money. Thus, it is better to demolish the old buildings and build modern ones instead. I personally agree that reconstructions are cheaper than fixing the old ones.
7.5
band
Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion
In these decades, many believe that getting a degree from college is the most effective method to get a job, while others think that developing soft skills and having many work experiences are more effective in finding work. Completing university or developing soft skills have their own positive sides for the future. This essay will discuss both views and I will give my opinion about these concepts.
5.5
band
Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Several representatives of contemporary society deem that various achievements are reached by intensive and hard work whereas others argue with this position and claim that riches and appearance play an essential part in human life. From my perspective, it can not be denied that these statements are composed of a fraction of the truth. Therefore, I am going to reflect on this essay my own view of such an issue and to provide strong arguments, which confirm my core opinion.
6.5
band
More and more people today are moving away from where their friends and family live. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, there is a rise in the number of individuals who are moving far away from their homes where friends and family live. Although, moving away from home can provide more experiences for individuals. I believe that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits because moving away from home can impact an individual’s mental and physical health, as well as their overall well-being.
5
band
The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph shows how much fish and meat (chicken, beef, and lamb) were consumed by the average person in a particular European country from 1979 to 2004 in grams per week (gpw). Overall, consumption of all types of meat declined with the exception of chicken, which showed a steady increase in popularity. Chicken replaced beef as the most popular meat, while fish remained the least consumed throughout the period. At the start of the period, beef was the most popular meat, with over 200 gpw being consumed by the average person. At the same time, consumption of chicken and lamb stood at about 150 gpw, while that of fish was much lower, at 60 gpw. Thereafter, individual chicken consumption rose steadily, finishing the period at 250 gpw, while in contrast, personal demand for beef and lamb saw consistent declines, despite beef peaking at around 240 gpw in 1984. By the end of the period, their respective levels of consumption had fallen to around 100 and 60 gpw.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

More and more people today are moving away from where their friends and family live. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.