IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

you recently had a problem when buying a ticket at a train station. Write a letter to the manager of the train station. In you lette - describe the problem you had when buying a ticket. - say how this affected you. - suggest what the manager can do about this prroblem. you do not need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,

Dear Sir or Madam, I’m writing regarding a serious issue I encountered
while
Linking Words
 purchasing a ticket at your station
last
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 Tuesday morning, 18th June, around 8:15 am. I hope you can address
this
Linking Words
 problem to prevent similar situations. When I tried to buy a ticket to Toronto using the self-service machine, the screen froze after I inserted my payment card. The machine didn’t issue a ticket or return my card for several minutes. I
then
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 joined the permit counter queue, but only one staff member was serving many customers. By the time I received help, I’d missed my train.
This
Linking Words
 caused significant problems
such
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 as missing an important medical appointment and I had to pay extra for the next train.
Also
Linking Words
, I arrived late for work and faced criticism I suggest two improvements: Increase staff during busy periods like weekday mornings and repair faulty machines faster and add clear "Out of Service" signs. Thank you for your attention. I trust you’ll take action. Yours faithfully, Gagan.

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task achievement
Consider providing more details about how the missed appointment affected you.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly focuses on a single idea and flows smoothly into the next.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check your spelling and punctuation for clarity.
task achievement
You addressed the issue clearly and explained its impact well.
coherence and cohesion
Your letter has a good structure with an appropriate greeting and closing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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