Young people who commit crime should be punished the same way as adults who commit crime. Do you agree or disagree?
When it comes to the
punishment
of young lawbreaker
, some people believe that those who are immature should still be punished the same way as Fix the agreement mistake
lawbreakers
adults
who commit illegal acts, while others hold opposite
Add an article
the opposite
opinion
. Personally, I think young Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
criminal
should bear lighter Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
punishment
than adult criminals
.
To begin
with, most young criminals
commit to
Change preposition
apply
crime
unintentionally that why it is unfair to witness youngsters Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
to
have identical law enforcement with Change the verb form
apply
adults
. In fact, many children nowadays are getting influence
by social media, while those networking sites are deceptive and misleading. Wrong verb form
influenced
Hence
, because of these negative impact
on their life, they are more likely to make mistakes and violate the rules. Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
Besides
, with the rapid development of society, parents’ company is rare and luxury to their families, which triggers educational absence. In another word, parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
Add a missing verb
are absent
absent
in educating their children Replace the word
absence
that
lead to Correct pronoun usage
apply
lack
of ability Correct article usage
a lack
of telling
the true from the false. Replace the preposition
to tell
Therefore
, young people will ultimately go astray and commit to
Change preposition
apply
crime
.
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
Furthermore
, even though young criminals
commit to
Change preposition
apply
crime
purposefully, equally bearing the penalty with adult Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
criminals
will bring destructive consequence
in their life, Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
thus
defeating the whole idea of punishing. It is believed that the whole point of enforcing those severe
Change the determiner
that severe punishment
those severe punishments
punishment
for criminals
is to correct their manner in the future. According to the justice, it is inhumane for young children to have equal
criminal Add an article
an equal
penalty
as Fix the agreement mistake
penalties
adults
, because their ages are in prime time to be well-prepared for the future, including the construction of values or learning new abilities. Hence
, we cannot imagine a kid who break
the law is punished for longer imprisonment, and it is difficult for Change the verb form
breaks
he
or Correct pronoun usage
him
she
to revive and start a normal time on the later life. Correct pronoun usage
her
Therefore
, same
methods of Correct article usage
the same
punishment
both for young
generation and teenagers are inappropriate .
In conclusion, due to social causes and Add an article
the young
meaning
of Correct article usage
the meaning
penalty
, I believe that youngsters should not bear less Correct article usage
the penalty
punishment
than adults
. We should give more time for them to take their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
to
their illegal actsChange preposition
for
Submitted by Esther on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite