Young people who commit crime should be punished the same way as adults who commit crime. Do you agree or disagree?

When it comes to the
punishment
of young
lawbreaker
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lawbreakers
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, some people believe that those who are immature should still be punished the same way as
adults
who commit illegal acts, while others hold
opposite
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the opposite
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opinion
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opinions
show examples
. Personally, I think young
criminal
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criminals
show examples
should bear lighter
punishment
than adult
criminals
.
To begin
with, most young
criminals
commit
to
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apply
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crime
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crimes
show examples
unintentionally that why it is unfair to witness youngsters
to
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apply
show examples
have identical law enforcement with
adults
. In fact, many children nowadays are getting
influence
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influenced
show examples
by social media, while those networking sites are deceptive and misleading.
Hence
, because of these negative
impact
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impacts
show examples
on their life, they are more likely to make mistakes and violate the rules.
Besides
, with the rapid development of society, parents’ company is rare and luxury to their families, which triggers educational absence. In another word,
parents
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parents'
parent's
show examples
Add a missing verb
are absent
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absent
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absence
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in educating their children
that
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apply
show examples
lead to
lack
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a lack
show examples
of ability
of telling
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to tell
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the true from the false.
Therefore
, young people will ultimately go astray and commit
to
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apply
show examples
crime
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crimes
show examples
.
Furthermore
, even though young
criminals
commit
to
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apply
show examples
crime
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crimes
show examples
purposefully, equally bearing the penalty with adult
criminals
will bring destructive
consequence
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consequences
show examples
in their life,
thus
defeating the whole idea of punishing. It is believed that the whole point of enforcing
those severe
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that severe punishment
those severe punishments
show examples
punishment
for
criminals
is to correct their manner in the future. According to the justice, it is inhumane for young children to have
equal
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an equal
show examples
criminal
penalty
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penalties
show examples
as
adults
, because their ages are in prime time to be well-prepared for the future, including the construction of values or learning new abilities.
Hence
, we cannot imagine a kid who
break
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breaks
show examples
the law is punished for longer imprisonment, and it is difficult for
he
Correct pronoun usage
him
show examples
or
she
Correct pronoun usage
her
show examples
to revive and start a normal time on the later life.
Therefore
,
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
methods of
punishment
both for
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation and teenagers are inappropriate . In conclusion, due to social causes and
meaning
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the meaning
show examples
of
penalty
Correct article usage
the penalty
show examples
, I believe that youngsters should not bear less
punishment
than
adults
. We should give more time for them to take
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
responsibilities
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responsibility
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to
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for
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their illegal acts
Submitted by Esther on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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